Tag Archives: Social Freedom

How to: mental upgrades 


Today’s routine: Wake up and walk to a bay side coffee shop for breakfast and to work on photography stuff.. After that I will head around town picking up various items that make my life more complete, mostly car parts. Later in the afternoon I will head to the YMCA to pump the guns and then shower before I go and work with kids at an after school programme. What will happen tonight I never know. Last night I dropped in at the Seattle fire collective to watch humans play with fire and to meet the folk that put on these events. It’s a movement and I love to celebrate with these types of people. The connects that can be made are out of this world alien level shit sometimes.

At other times I go to events don’t connect with anyone. Where are you from is something I avidly try and avoid asking and yet find myself in the same conversation more than I am willing to admit. On occasion vast stretches of time are spent in a mindset that can’t come up with conversation other than the standard questions that everyone has heard a million times before. Where are you from? What do you do? What part of town do you live? Would you mind shooting me in the head right now?

It was less than a month ago that I got reawakened to the communication path I desire to be on. I remember the night that the awakening happened. I back at my old college town bar scene talking with anyone that wanted to talk. Then the remarkable happened. One of the conversations turned into something meaningful. I can’t say exactly how anything comes to from not having meaning to have meaning but somehow a stranger and I saw eye to eye. The conversation was simple. We talked about our lives and the experiences that had brought us to the present moment and then gradually we built into something truly inspirational with the catchphrase of “I just make myself into a person with a cando attitude” climaxing out short talk. I felt like I had learned something and it felt good.

I do not believe that the man I was talking with was trying to improve my life; instead felt the stimulation caused by something that means something and so, like the good human he is, plugged himself in and talked away. At that moment I did not know how much my life had been changed. All I know was that I felt good and that I wanted to go out and spread the good vibes, and so I did. It’s easy to talk with anyone when you feel light and happy. The conversation flows from a free place inside and what feels like anything is possible. It would be hard to sum up what I had learned from this man with logic or a catchphrase. It was subtle click and it changed the game.

“Lift up your hearts, my brothers, high, higher! And do not forget your legs either. Lift us your legs, too, you good dancers; and better yet, stand on your heads.” -Thus Spake Zarathustra, Friedrich Nietzsche

One of the main function of the brain is adaptability. What amazes me is just how much can change with nothing more than information. While it seems that we continue to learn from all situations, life is not a constant climb upwards. There are times when we sink and must go backwards before we can go forwards once again. My questions are; What are the things that change our perspective and change the way we react to the world? Can we design a life to safeguard against pitfalls and thus cling to the power we have acquired? No one can say when or where the next upgrade will come from. It’s like a hunt where you go into the unknown in order to retrieve the treasure. In my experience there are great monsters found in the unknown that can wreck your day. Strategic planning and responsibility are key on the journey to finding wisdom. The game is necessarily dangerous but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Seattle in a truck 


I arrived in Seattle less than two weeks ago and thus far I have a job, friends, and a car to sleep in. The job I got on my second day in town, my best friend is the first person I met in town, and the car in my friends car. The car is a lifted truck by which I have made a bedding in the bed and sleep fine. I don’t have any forms of identification and going from a non-identified person to an identified person is not easy to do in the US and aside from all the tedious amount of running around to different government buildings, I am doing fairly fucking awesome. I know almost nothing about this city which makes a large part of my experience completely novel and so I am like a baby that has learned how to use the bus system. It’s kinda fucking great.

The first thing I did after getting off the bus in Seattle was to head down to the pedicab garage to get a job. I have worked pedicabs all across the country and know how easy it can be to get a job. In most cities there is a licensing process and maybe a letter of hire, but here in Seattle it was a process of getting on a bike and going out to make money. All anyone would have to do would be to find the manager and you got yourself a job. The first weekend of working cabs we worked a Huskies football game. There was quite a bit of bitching about how cabbers did not make enough money but we all bought beer and got drunk that night. I was tired but happy that night.

Downtown Seattle you can find me on the waterfront most of the time. There are only a few bars that card regularly and without i.d. I am unable to join the mainstream of people that frequent the weekend barseen but I still frequently go out for drinks and explore the old brick buildings that remind me of St. Paul. Got punched in the head the other night in a mosh pit at a punk rock show. It was awesome. Dude Juicy Karkass rocked all of our worlds. Other than that it’s been city car adventures and hanging out with the dudes.

In the evening there is a regular crowd of dudes drinking beer outside the pedicab garage. We are talking about 5-10 pedicabbers who are in their mid thirties and just like talking. Most of them live out of a truck or van and I found myself at home on the first night. We trade a lot of stories and it’s fun to hang out with them and get drunk but no chicks gets old quick and so I am working on branching out and doing my own thing a lot of the time.

Apparently Seattle has one of the largest populations of people that live out of their vehicles. This is exactly what I am looking to do. I found a great deal on a Subaru Outback and will buy it as soon as I have enough money. The weird part about having enough money is that I do have enough money but the bank won’t let me access all of it without i.d. so at the moment I am withdrawing 300 a day until I have enough. It should be by the end of the week.

Back to the beginning; moments after getting into Seattle I met a guy that is working on a bus. After a bit of chit chat through a window he invites me up and shows me his projected home. This guy buys busses and then lives on then while he does the seats, tile flooring, cedar ceiling, a kitchen, bathroom, the works. After he finishes the bus he lives and tours out of it until he finds a buyer. This is the guy that is turning into my best friend here in Seattle and constantly he is making me want to buy my own bus. It’s a tricky situation at this point for the reason of me not really know what I want to do with my life…

We all could feel the first day of fall two days ago. Most of the cabbers are not fond of Seattle winters and the back of the truck is getting cold at night which makes me wonder what I will want to do for this coming winter. I have two options in mind that I will lay out before you. I want to hear what y’all think.

1. Live in Seattle for a few months then sell the Subaru and dip out to Australia like I had originally planned. Australian adventure!

2. Stay in the states. Buy a bus. Prepare for pedicabbing the festival season this coming season. Build a bus, build a cab, start stocking up on the deemsters, get connected with the pedicabbers in charge of the festivals.

Life is great. We can manifest anything we choose. It takes work but with goals so grand can’t really do anything but be compelled into action. Almost like something greater has taken control of our bodies and, like puppets we guided to sacred places. 

Side quests 

It has been a dream and still is my dream to live and love in Australia. As some of you may know I had purchased a plane ticket for the 11th of september to fly from Seattle to Sydney where I could then buy a car and figure things out from there. By flying out of Seattle I could save 200+ on airfare and I could visit a new city; all I had to do was get from Denver to Seattle.I started the trip by finding a Craigslist rideshare to Bozeman Montana with an older guy that was heading back to school. He was great to talk with and we got to know each other well enough that I feel like texting him right now to see how he is doing. Anyways, on the first night of my trip I was able to get to the Bozeman hot springs. I spend the evening talking with mostly college freshman and soaking in the hot water. After the hot spring it was time to look for a camp spot. I do not like paying for a place to sleep, ever, and so I will usually just pitch a hammock between two trees that are secluded enough to not get woken up by anyone in the morning. This night was different. Behind the hot springs I found an abandoned camper truck, unlocked, and ready to be slept in with mattress and all. I must admit there was some old old chicken in the sink and junk on the floor, but the mattress was clean and I was able to lock the door and thus got a fairly fucking decent night of sleep.


The next morning I woke up with the sun, put my large pack on my back, my small pack on my front and started hiking to the highway by which I could throw up the thumb. It’s a 200 mile journey from the hot springs to Missoula. It took me three rides and most of the day to make the trip. The first guy picked me up on the side of the road and sent me off about three miles down the road. The second ride was with a lady that made her daughter sit in the back so that she could give me a ride a few more miles down the road. Sweet of her to be able to trust a hitch hiker even with her children present. The third ride got me to the Missoula off ramp and was with one of the more interesting persons that I have met in a long time. The guy looked like he was in his early thirties but turned out to be ott 45. He was driving from South Carolina to go camping with a few friends in Idaho. He told me of his train hopping days that lasted from a mid teen all the way through his mid thirties. Through dumpster diving and knowledge of the forest he was able to go for years without needing money of any kind. He was able to cross the American borders without a passport. Now he has his “sweety” and a son that he is raising on a farm/commune in SC. When he dropped me off in Missoula I thanked him for his stories and the ride

In Missoula I was able to meet up with an old friend who gave me a place to sleep, a shower, and endless conversation. Missoula this time of year is smoked out by forest fire to the point of not being able to see the sun. Breathing in the air makes it feel as if you’re coming down with a hard sickness and I had to leave.

For the last part of my trip I decided to take the night bus. It would get me to downtown Seattle and I could sleep for the entire ride there. I remember talking with a lady during one of our stops. We got into chit chat and I learned that this was a lady in a terrible place. She had drug problems and was being taken away from her kids. I told her, at least it can’t get any worse. She said- I beg to differ. At the next rest station it’s something like 3 in the morning and the entire bus is emptied into some random bus station. We are zombies when I hear some shouting and see an old guy get slashed in the face with a knife. The culprit dominates the bus station brandishing the knife shouting about injustice for about three minutes before an officer shows up with a fully automatic weapon and the man is put to the ground in cuffs. I see the lady I had talked with earlier who whispers- still think this day can’t get any worse. Little did I know at the time that my day was to get a whole lot worse.

The next rest station it must be something like 4 in the morning when they make us get off the bus again so that we can fill up on gas. I am half asleep when they announce that its time to get back on the bus. What I think I hear is that it’s time to get back on a bus that’s not my bus and so I stay where I am, half asleep. Minutes later I realize that my bus has left without me. I call Greyhound and they tell me that I can wait where I am at for the next bus which comes in 12 hours. I spend the rest of the night asking people if they are going to Seattle and getting what sleep can be got out of gas station bench. I end up buying a new bus ticket with a different bus company the rest of the way to Seattle.

I get to Seattle. First thing that hits me is how beautiful the stone buildings next to the water look. It strangely reminds me of St. Paul. I go to the Greyhound bus station where they give me my large pack that was checked under the bus. No one can find the smaller pack that I had carried on with me when I boarded the bus. I go through the blurry ass camera footage to see something that looks like what might be someone walking away with my pack. They tell me that Greyhound is not responsible for carry ons shoe me out the door. It’s Friday, my plane leaves on Monday; my passport, drivers license, birth certificate, and social security card were all in the pack. I’m fucked. Expedited passports are about 500 which is too much for me to spend and then expect to make a responsible start in Australia. It looks as if I will be staying in Seattle for a while.

Putting the large pack on my back I head to the pedicab garage downtown. On the way to the garage I meet two guys who are working on a school bus. They yell some sort of nonsense at me through the window and invite me aboard. Inside is covered with tools and supplies by which these guys are flooring it out so that they live in style and avoid paying rent. They give me a beer and we smoke some weed. The one guy works at the same cab company that I plan on working for. He lets me sleep on the bus with him that night and then in the back of this truck the following night. Over the weekend I make money and friends on the rickshaw. Looking to buy a subaru later today by which I can live, love, and save up some money for a trip to Australia. It’s a definite setback but I really do love my life. Seattle is beautiful and now I have time to explore. Today I interview for bartender and then will jump on the cab to get some exploring in. I currently don’t have any identification but have not yet been carded even though I frequent the bars in town. Looking forward to the Seattle jungle and have plans to visit the forest with another forest dwelling creature from Minnesota. Starting fresh in a new city is one of my favorite things to do. I feel like a baby on a mission. Everything is so new and there is so much to do. Now, it’s time to build.

Mad liberation

After meditating in the streets of downtown Phoenix for I found myself doubting the dis-contentedness with society that inspired action in the first place. Rebellion against the routine of a society that has found itself comfortable living with sickness and catastrophe. Is the world so dull that we need public mediators to wake us up? Is it not beautiful already? Thoughtfully; the contradiction is true. Looking around I see a striving population of loving people who enjoy their lives and are involved in a passionate race for the better world. At the same time I can feel the restlessness that rides along with the human condition. We are cursed with the knowledge of all the ways in which we fail to live the lives we know we should.

We build cities for ourselves to be closer together and in these cities we spend our time alone. Is it cunning conditioning to make us more efficient slaves, or is there something waiting for us to pick ourselves out of the fog and meet them in dancing places? Reality is not a forgiving. You are not a special and unique snowflake. Some of us will climb higher than others and its no ones responsibility to climb but your own. I ask myself why I could not be stronger?

I have always been on the side of self overcoming rather than self acceptance and perfection is a strenuous and lofty goal. It has never been easy to live up to my own standard but today I am making great leaps forward. I have uncovered more of the movement that I yearn for. Social freedom and the people that are redefining taboo. I can play a fantastic role in this movement which accepts more people empowering them to a greater degree. This is the movement that will take the world and soon it will be the norm.

On the liberators international a guy addresses an emotionless subway about their ways and asks them to start a dance party with him. Everyone dances. There is another instance of this guy addressing working professionals on the street and challenging them to have a dance party with him in a city park and the people love him for it.

When I was young I loved to read fantasy books like The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and I especially loved Lord of the rings. During my darker years as a late teenager I yearned to escape into one of these worlds and stayed in a fantasy of hopes and dream. When I finally did look into the world I found it. Its out there I say just go and look. There are people that can bring you into worlds you would not believe. 

Obviously open. Penetratingly vulnerable. Emotionally expressive. These are the values in the world of tomorrow because in the end, it is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful values. Perhaps, then, with hard work, you might gain that rare tranquility that comes from knowing you’ve had a hand in creating something of intrinsic excellence that makes contribution. Indeed, you you might even gain that deepest of all satisfactions: knowing that your short time here on this earth has been spent well, and that it mattered.

How to find the others

If you are the type of person who keeps going down looking for a bottom from which to kick off from and propel yourself out in order to get a better glimpse of the dazing world above the surface, then keep searching. Its out there.

Half a year ago I left my home and the lake of my home and headed into the south. New Orleans is where I ended up. Bright eyed and innocent (though not as innocent as I look) I was in search of a movement, greater than myself that I could support. The search has lead me to look both inside for the ability that I can use to build the larger, and outside for the entity that truly is the enlightenment.

Philosophically ironic, a strong taste of what I am looking for came from a drug induced experience I had shortly before I started my journey. Through dimethyltryptamine I was able to communicate with a part of myself that ended up giving me a new sense of intuition and way of relating with the world.

It was a Monday night and my friends would meet up at a pool hall to play billiards. My best friend Sam was going into rehab the next day and we were getting amped for his journey. I invited him over to a house after pool so that we could smoke some dmt and send him off with a bang. Sitting on a long couch our friend pored a teaspoons worth of a dark colored, dung smelling amount of sand into a pipe. He then headed the pipe up with a lighter and after the pipe was filled with smoke he instructed me to inhale and hold as long as I could. The vapor from the pipe tasted like poop and against my natural instinct I held the smoke in my lungs as long as I could. A loud ringing engulfed my sensed and my eyes closed and I slumped into my seat.

The first and most overwhelming aspect of the experience was the ringing in my ears. If the ringing had been coming from outside of my own head it would have been more disturbing than nails on a chalkboard, and although the ringing sounded the similar it was not unpleasant. Comforting would not be the word to describe this thing, rather it just was. The next aspect of the experience was a crystallization of my vision, as if my eyes were slowly changing into kaleidoscopes until I could no longer decipher my surroundings. At this point I had held my breadth for over a minute. I could have gone longer but the experience was so intense that I exhaled, closed my eyes, and sank deep into my chair. The ringing was getting louder and like an ant resisting a title wave I fought to order my mind. Against my will my entire being was engulfed by the ringing. At this point the ringing became a pattern of high pitched bleepings and the bleeping into a beautiful song. To this day I have never heard anything so magical, relaxing, and alien all at one time. If I were a musician I would turn this into the most powerful song in the world and it would spark movements of destructive peace and unity.

With my eyes still closed I witnessed a wave of bright green light rushing at me through the darkness and like water it crashed into me and a green lady appeared out of the chaos. Her hair flowing backwards, palms outstretched, and eyes of white light she looked into me. Slowly I realized that the ringing song was her voice. Through song I could understand her infinity and power. It felt that this creature was in constant communication with all life spread throughout the universe and through song she could spread her wisdom. To her I gave everything, from her I took as much as I could. Slowly my mind dimmed and I awoke from my dream to be surrounded by my friends.

Over the next few days I found myself inspired with a new way to pensive the world. I could speak the song and hear the song stronger and weaker in different areas of my life. I can remember a time when I went to a festival with my dad. In the mountains of Colorado is a festival called the Arise Music Festival where the feeling of the green lady was the most powerful that I have ever felt. Ever sense I have felt the blasting off caused by dimethyltryptamine I have been seeking out the source of this song which I believe to come more strongly at different parts of the globe. The place where the enlightenment of the individual is valued beyond all else. Where great people are searching for the means of creating a society that is not limited to oppressive methods of control. Where humanity can live in harmony with nature and people can progress into oneness without feelings of regret. Onward I seek.

I write this in Phoenix Arizona where the people are involved and love one another in a way that drives business. I love all of them and am grateful for showing me the side of life that prizes openness, loyalty, and hardship. Soon I will be headed to Hawaii to explore the a new culture with an emphasis on describing the secrets of mana which Codrington defines in his book, The Melanesians: Studies in their Anthropology and Folk-Lore as “a force altogether distinct from physical power, which acts in all kinds of ways for good and evil, and which is of the greatest advantage to possess or control”.

“Only the lovers can get through the fire of the ring of the mandala. Open your heart. God is searching God in this creation.” ~ Sufi Saying.

Stay tuned in and open. Will be speaking with you again soon.