Seattle in a truck 


I arrived in Seattle less than two weeks ago and thus far I have a job, friends, and a car to sleep in. The job I got on my second day in town, my best friend is the first person I met in town, and the car in my friends car. The car is a lifted truck by which I have made a bedding in the bed and sleep fine. I don’t have any forms of identification and going from a non-identified person to an identified person is not easy to do in the US and aside from all the tedious amount of running around to different government buildings, I am doing fairly fucking awesome. I know almost nothing about this city which makes a large part of my experience completely novel and so I am like a baby that has learned how to use the bus system. It’s kinda fucking great.

The first thing I did after getting off the bus in Seattle was to head down to the pedicab garage to get a job. I have worked pedicabs all across the country and know how easy it can be to get a job. In most cities there is a licensing process and maybe a letter of hire, but here in Seattle it was a process of getting on a bike and going out to make money. All anyone would have to do would be to find the manager and you got yourself a job. The first weekend of working cabs we worked a Huskies football game. There was quite a bit of bitching about how cabbers did not make enough money but we all bought beer and got drunk that night. I was tired but happy that night.

Downtown Seattle you can find me on the waterfront most of the time. There are only a few bars that card regularly and without i.d. I am unable to join the mainstream of people that frequent the weekend barseen but I still frequently go out for drinks and explore the old brick buildings that remind me of St. Paul. Got punched in the head the other night in a mosh pit at a punk rock show. It was awesome. Dude Juicy Karkass rocked all of our worlds. Other than that it’s been city car adventures and hanging out with the dudes.

In the evening there is a regular crowd of dudes drinking beer outside the pedicab garage. We are talking about 5-10 pedicabbers who are in their mid thirties and just like talking. Most of them live out of a truck or van and I found myself at home on the first night. We trade a lot of stories and it’s fun to hang out with them and get drunk but no chicks gets old quick and so I am working on branching out and doing my own thing a lot of the time.

Apparently Seattle has one of the largest populations of people that live out of their vehicles. This is exactly what I am looking to do. I found a great deal on a Subaru Outback and will buy it as soon as I have enough money. The weird part about having enough money is that I do have enough money but the bank won’t let me access all of it without i.d. so at the moment I am withdrawing 300 a day until I have enough. It should be by the end of the week.

Back to the beginning; moments after getting into Seattle I met a guy that is working on a bus. After a bit of chit chat through a window he invites me up and shows me his projected home. This guy buys busses and then lives on then while he does the seats, tile flooring, cedar ceiling, a kitchen, bathroom, the works. After he finishes the bus he lives and tours out of it until he finds a buyer. This is the guy that is turning into my best friend here in Seattle and constantly he is making me want to buy my own bus. It’s a tricky situation at this point for the reason of me not really know what I want to do with my life…

We all could feel the first day of fall two days ago. Most of the cabbers are not fond of Seattle winters and the back of the truck is getting cold at night which makes me wonder what I will want to do for this coming winter. I have two options in mind that I will lay out before you. I want to hear what y’all think.

1. Live in Seattle for a few months then sell the Subaru and dip out to Australia like I had originally planned. Australian adventure!

2. Stay in the states. Buy a bus. Prepare for pedicabbing the festival season this coming season. Build a bus, build a cab, start stocking up on the deemsters, get connected with the pedicabbers in charge of the festivals.

Life is great. We can manifest anything we choose. It takes work but with goals so grand can’t really do anything but be compelled into action. Almost like something greater has taken control of our bodies and, like puppets we guided to sacred places. 

Advertisements

5 reasons to learn lucid dreaming today!

Do you do yoga? Meditate? Read books and strive to eat a balanced diet? Well then why the fuck are you not lucid dreaming? In my opinion it’s just as important as all of the mentioned above and here is why. 

1. To create any fantasy you can imagine.Imagination is like a muscle. The more you use it the better it gets. Now let’s imagine all the things that we have yet to imagine. Hard to imagine huh? Well before we get too meta maybe we should look at the things that we can think about. There are a lot of things to be thought. A lot of universes to be created. All of which can be done in the lucid dream. It’s like having your own Oculus rift only waaay the fuck better. Have you ever wanted to fly? Hang out with dinosaurs? Bang it out with 50 of the hottest creatures anyone has ever seen? Sit in solitude on the dark side of the moon? All of this can be done by exercising the lucid dreaming muscle and its not as hard as you might think.

2. To travel to different dimensions.

Ok now is the time to get meta. There is more to the lucid dream than just the imagination. Just imagine, there are parts of your brain that you have yet to unlock. Flying through space is easy enough but ripping the space/time fabric apart and sendin it hard into the space between space; talk about a trip. Actually you can’t really talk about it. I mean, people try all the time but one of the common things that people express about these states of being is that it’s so hard to describe. It must be lived. The fact that humans are capable of mystical experience is baffling. To know that you have some of the most profound experiences of your life through a practice is some of the greatest part of being human. 

3. To talk to sides of yourself that you didn’t know where there.

A necessary requirement to lucid dreaming is that the dreamer becomes aware. Something in the mind exclaims “What presents itself before me is but a dream!”. By becoming aware of yourself you are able to become the unattached observer and thus gain great control over all aspects of life. In Robert Waggoner’s book “Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self” he refers to a state of consciousness within the dream in which the dreamer becomes aware of a separate consciousness with the dream. “I have come to think of it as a true self; an awareness hidden by layers of misguided core beliefs developed in childhood. What questions would you ask if you possessed such profound lucid wisdom?”

4. To practice and improve real life skills.

Why do we dream? What practical reason could there be for inventing landscapes in the mind? Could the ones who dream have an evolutionary advantage over those who do not? Who can say? There are many theories from the Freudian of subconscious sexual impulses manifesting themselves in imagery, to totally random firings of the brain, or that the dream help with memory formation. Some say that the dream is practice for life. The brain is able to problem solve and thus able to use what it learns and apply it to the real world. Dream training grounds…

5. To give greater meaning to life.

In my opinion the reason for life is meaning. It’s what drives all action and compels moral ideals that are greater than any individual can hope to be. Through dreams we can achieve something greater than ourselves and exist in a world beyond. There are different rules in the dream. Different rules to test our notions of what is real. Some rules are the same however and by testing against these boundaries can we gain a deeper sense of reality and thus have greater meaning. 

There is so much that I have not touch about the dream. Just think; reuniting with the deceased, conquering your fears in a safe(?) envornment, processing complex emotions that allow for the next jump in consciousness. This is really the tool for massive self improvement and has to potential to bring expounding benefit to the core of life so that we may sit back and watch the abundance spread like fire throughout the soul. So if I am able to purswade anyone of anything let it be this: right before you fall asleep tonight tell yourself “tonight I will lucid dream”.

Side quests 

It has been a dream and still is my dream to live and love in Australia. As some of you may know I had purchased a plane ticket for the 11th of september to fly from Seattle to Sydney where I could then buy a car and figure things out from there. By flying out of Seattle I could save 200+ on airfare and I could visit a new city; all I had to do was get from Denver to Seattle.I started the trip by finding a Craigslist rideshare to Bozeman Montana with an older guy that was heading back to school. He was great to talk with and we got to know each other well enough that I feel like texting him right now to see how he is doing. Anyways, on the first night of my trip I was able to get to the Bozeman hot springs. I spend the evening talking with mostly college freshman and soaking in the hot water. After the hot spring it was time to look for a camp spot. I do not like paying for a place to sleep, ever, and so I will usually just pitch a hammock between two trees that are secluded enough to not get woken up by anyone in the morning. This night was different. Behind the hot springs I found an abandoned camper truck, unlocked, and ready to be slept in with mattress and all. I must admit there was some old old chicken in the sink and junk on the floor, but the mattress was clean and I was able to lock the door and thus got a fairly fucking decent night of sleep.


The next morning I woke up with the sun, put my large pack on my back, my small pack on my front and started hiking to the highway by which I could throw up the thumb. It’s a 200 mile journey from the hot springs to Missoula. It took me three rides and most of the day to make the trip. The first guy picked me up on the side of the road and sent me off about three miles down the road. The second ride was with a lady that made her daughter sit in the back so that she could give me a ride a few more miles down the road. Sweet of her to be able to trust a hitch hiker even with her children present. The third ride got me to the Missoula off ramp and was with one of the more interesting persons that I have met in a long time. The guy looked like he was in his early thirties but turned out to be ott 45. He was driving from South Carolina to go camping with a few friends in Idaho. He told me of his train hopping days that lasted from a mid teen all the way through his mid thirties. Through dumpster diving and knowledge of the forest he was able to go for years without needing money of any kind. He was able to cross the American borders without a passport. Now he has his “sweety” and a son that he is raising on a farm/commune in SC. When he dropped me off in Missoula I thanked him for his stories and the ride

In Missoula I was able to meet up with an old friend who gave me a place to sleep, a shower, and endless conversation. Missoula this time of year is smoked out by forest fire to the point of not being able to see the sun. Breathing in the air makes it feel as if you’re coming down with a hard sickness and I had to leave.

For the last part of my trip I decided to take the night bus. It would get me to downtown Seattle and I could sleep for the entire ride there. I remember talking with a lady during one of our stops. We got into chit chat and I learned that this was a lady in a terrible place. She had drug problems and was being taken away from her kids. I told her, at least it can’t get any worse. She said- I beg to differ. At the next rest station it’s something like 3 in the morning and the entire bus is emptied into some random bus station. We are zombies when I hear some shouting and see an old guy get slashed in the face with a knife. The culprit dominates the bus station brandishing the knife shouting about injustice for about three minutes before an officer shows up with a fully automatic weapon and the man is put to the ground in cuffs. I see the lady I had talked with earlier who whispers- still think this day can’t get any worse. Little did I know at the time that my day was to get a whole lot worse.

The next rest station it must be something like 4 in the morning when they make us get off the bus again so that we can fill up on gas. I am half asleep when they announce that its time to get back on the bus. What I think I hear is that it’s time to get back on a bus that’s not my bus and so I stay where I am, half asleep. Minutes later I realize that my bus has left without me. I call Greyhound and they tell me that I can wait where I am at for the next bus which comes in 12 hours. I spend the rest of the night asking people if they are going to Seattle and getting what sleep can be got out of gas station bench. I end up buying a new bus ticket with a different bus company the rest of the way to Seattle.

I get to Seattle. First thing that hits me is how beautiful the stone buildings next to the water look. It strangely reminds me of St. Paul. I go to the Greyhound bus station where they give me my large pack that was checked under the bus. No one can find the smaller pack that I had carried on with me when I boarded the bus. I go through the blurry ass camera footage to see something that looks like what might be someone walking away with my pack. They tell me that Greyhound is not responsible for carry ons shoe me out the door. It’s Friday, my plane leaves on Monday; my passport, drivers license, birth certificate, and social security card were all in the pack. I’m fucked. Expedited passports are about 500 which is too much for me to spend and then expect to make a responsible start in Australia. It looks as if I will be staying in Seattle for a while.

Putting the large pack on my back I head to the pedicab garage downtown. On the way to the garage I meet two guys who are working on a school bus. They yell some sort of nonsense at me through the window and invite me aboard. Inside is covered with tools and supplies by which these guys are flooring it out so that they live in style and avoid paying rent. They give me a beer and we smoke some weed. The one guy works at the same cab company that I plan on working for. He lets me sleep on the bus with him that night and then in the back of this truck the following night. Over the weekend I make money and friends on the rickshaw. Looking to buy a subaru later today by which I can live, love, and save up some money for a trip to Australia. It’s a definite setback but I really do love my life. Seattle is beautiful and now I have time to explore. Today I interview for bartender and then will jump on the cab to get some exploring in. I currently don’t have any identification but have not yet been carded even though I frequent the bars in town. Looking forward to the Seattle jungle and have plans to visit the forest with another forest dwelling creature from Minnesota. Starting fresh in a new city is one of my favorite things to do. I feel like a baby on a mission. Everything is so new and there is so much to do. Now, it’s time to build.

Australia baby here I come

It feels like it’s all going to work out and come together just in the nick of time. It’s been too long that I have been under pressure to complete some task without the necessary resources, but now I have what I need to make the leap across the sea. All my bags are packed and I’m ready to go. As of today, there are two weeks until I leave for Australia. I do not know what I will get into in the remaining two weeks but I am sure that it will be an adventure worth writing about.

After working at Powder Mountain ski resort for the winter I returned to Colorado with 50 dollars and came to start saving money for the trip I am about to depart on. I was able to do exactly what I set out to do here in CO and was able to partake in a few extra adventures along the way. Some of which include working as a bartender for my first time, pirate party festival in Montana, getting a motorcycle, the hail storm, and then general adventuring around the city and in the mountains. There were more setbacks that I am willing to admit, and I am still working on not reacting negatively when life gives you the ol’ one two. Surely, I am making my way.

This past weekend I visited the family in Minnesota and was able to see all the close members that I have not seen too long. My mom’s new house, my brother’s awesome life, and my dad’s cabin in the woods. I know that I will miss them more than anything and this visit will be like my last breath of air as I plunge beneath the surface of America and my home.

There is so much to do. I still have not bought my plane ticket and will need to get on that as soon as I have my passport in had. I will need to figure out what to do with my remaining two weeks. The choice is between riding Vegas pedicabs or going to Portland to explore. I am leaning towards portland but cannot say for sure. I will make my decision at the last possible moment. Contacting my pedicab friends in CO and asking them if they want to go to Vegas is another option.

I am spending less of my time looking back. When I do look back it’s to learn from the past. To think about my wrongs and ways that I can correct so that when I am overseas I do not make mistakes that could potentially be catastrophic. More of my thought is put into the future and as the day come closer and closer I become more and more excited. I am sure that things will not go according to plan. I feel like they will go better, actually. Some things that are within the plan that I am looking forward to are things like pedicabbing in Melbourne, getting barreled on a surfboard, learning to scuba dive, seeing friends that are living on the other side of the world, living and loving in and outside of a car. Australia baby here I come!

Handling Escapism

I would wager that just about everyone has some form of escapism that they engage in on the daily. A fraction of these people recognize the opportunities that are missed because of the time that is spent on something that is not in direct attainment of life’s goals. For me, its most obvious in the urge to play video games comes because I have shortcomings in other parts of my life. In order to change my focus to something that I am competent in, I turn to video games to get a sense of gratification that I am not getting in the real world. It can be extremely challenging to keep from turning to these types of escapism when faced with overwhelming obstacles. In order to get at the root of escapism I have a few penetrating questions. Where do these negative emotions come from? Why is it that I am unable to control myself when confronted with these emotions? What could be some possible solutions for living a better life?

Firstly, defining what constitutes a negative emotion that then turns me to escapism. From the position that I sit in now it seems entirely irrational to do anything but build myself to overcome in the face of adversity, but this is not the case. One instance of a source of these negative emotions comes from going out at night in order to have fun and meet new people. Not all the time but often enough these events can cascade downward so that when I am leaving the bar I feel alone in that I was unable to make a solid connection with anyone that I met that night. This does not happen often but when it does it can be hard to deal with. Other things that can be hard to deal with are things like shortcomings at work, run-ins with the bad side of the law, and arguments between friends. These are the type of things that cause negative emotions and thus give rise to the will to escape from it all.

The ideal version of myself grows stronger when faced with adversity and at times I have experienced such a thing. A willpower arise that detaches emotionally in order to achieve the desired outcome. Other times a weakness that desires to neglect the reality of the situation in favor of something lazy and shameful wins. I can only understand the ebb and flow of these two internal drives as a necessity of life and therefor I must prepare for both.

Building a life that is full of positive emotions so that one would never even be tempted by escapism sounds disagreeable. This is not to say that I would do anything but pursue my dream of dreams, it’s just that I feel that anything worth doing should be challenging and therefore will include trying situations. For me, it’s not about finding the path free of road bumps but more so about strengthening the self in order to handle any road bump that might occur; and so I turn my attention to the weakest version of myself and ask: What’s wrong? Why are you unable to do what you know to be right? Is it a lack of courage or maybe you just don’t want it bad enough? From the heightened perspective of where I sit now I can offer few words that might help. Remember that life is short and that greatness can only be achieved by those who work for it. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, so take your time and start small. Just remember to keep moving forward. Like the butterfly that created the hurricane, a small step in the right direction could be the first step to shift the minds of millions. Without the first step, there is nothing.

So yeah. Writing is where I do my most precise introspective work and by publishing this online I hope that it may help anyone that stumbles upon my work. If you thought about anything at all while reading please leave a comment. I love to hear other perspectives and to build a community is some of the greatest thing we do as humans and I am looking forward to all of it.

The Start of the Daily Vlog

In Nicomachean Ethics Aristotle describes three approaches to knowledge. Episteme: Meaning “to know” relates to universal truths and works with foundational beliefs by which to build a framework that is context independent. Techné: The rational method by which a result is produced. Phronesis: The rational deliberation upon true beliefs. As with the start of any journey, the start of the daily vlog is an incomprehensible task that has me grasping all the way back to my Nicomachean roots in order to get a foothold by which I might be able to tackle the beast. I can already feel how the vlog is gripping my life as I become obsessed by grabbing that next bit of footage, reaching out to that key individual, getting to that next level. The reason for any form of type communication is to inform and here in the daily vlog you will get information about the challenges that face the start of any project focused on the challenges that face a vlog. Here now, I present to you the first of many to come.

 

Episteme

For me, the inspiration to start a vlog came from a deep seated desire to have unfettered freedom. As I thought through the idea of freedom it lead me to the idea that I must do what I love and do it well. I know that I am loving life and so for me, it’s about finding these things that I am already doing and loving and presenting them in a way that is marketable and remarkable. What I love is to learn, to adventure, to express, and to joy. In the end, truth always wins. Love is the most powerful thing we can know. Anything that’s worth doing takes work.

 

Techné

There are two topics that I am just starting to learn and these are social media and video editing. In the article to come much of my focus will be placed on learning in these new realms of knowledge. I could see it being useful for others that are learning the same thing and entertaining to those that have been through it before. With video editing I am just getting into the basics but will be self educating my way to the finer points soon. Basic strategy for networking is to create great content and spend a majority of my time reaching out to other individuals who are creating in a similar domain. At this point that means finding people like me and then asking them intriguing questions that have the potential to start great conversations. The foundational belief for how to network can be summarized with one word, care.

 

Phronesis

By using tools to express values can we come to a practical understanding of wisdom. When it comes to social media and film editing I am a newborn pup. When it comes to organizing a plan of attack for learning new topics I confident in my burning desire to overcome all obstacles. When it comes to putting my personality out in a way that delivers a story that captivates and educates, it’s something I have been doing my entire life.

 

Clearly there are great challenges that obstruct individuals from gaining success when it comes to the world of video production. I can already tell that it’s a great mountain to climb. At the moment I am empowered by my values and what I feel is right. So far I am enjoying myself to a large degree and am excited to see what is to come. If you have read this far then it’s worth checking out the youtube channel- ant8731. I am always looking for feedback on anything and everything so let me know what you think. Thank you and see you soon.

Brothers Fight

Men have a different way of going through life than women. We could say that biologically men’s lives are less valuable than women’s in that it only take one man to carry on the population while it would take many women to have many many children. When we look at the lives of men we see that men die more often by risky behavior like stunts and car crashes pointing to the idea that men have a biology that is designed differently with things like social power in leadership and prestige being valued as much more important. This is not to say that women do not have such a thing in their lives it’s just that with women the nurturing instinct is much more developed and for the good reason of the children and the family.

Often times men will grow up in a patriarchal family where, from the time of Cain and Able it has been observed that the son will have the desire to overthrow the patriarch, the father. You can see this with kings of the past going on for centuries. In many cultures the transfer of power was almost always violent. With the king at the top it often times was up to one of his sons to replace him. Which son was to replace him was the question that provided the tension between brothers.

Growing up outside of royalty, my brother and I had a more civil relationship though not without conflict. Looking back I can see the harm that I did to him and the recoil from this harm and how this has effected me. Brothers fight in the sense of wrestling and other games where we would both try and get the best of each other. Being the older brother I would almost always win and would then make it a point to show how much better I was than him in additional displays of strength. This eventually backfired as my brother stopped wanting to play any more games with me. He could not get away with playing no games with me however as we had many of the same friends and groups of friend play games with each other inevitably.

To this day my brother and I seldom talk and despite my best efforts I get a call from him maybe a handful of times per year. When I think about what has brought us to this point in our relationship, besides all the times that I would not allow him to play his choice of video game or not use the TV, there are a few key instances that come to mind. There was the time that we convinced him that by strapping him into a dog harness that we could then hoist him up into a tree and thus climb any tree we wanted. After getting him 30 feet in the air my friend and I tied our end to a different tree leaving him suspended while we left to eat lunch. We were not gone that long but when we got back he was distraught. Another time we mummified him in duct tape to the point where he was unable to moved. These are the things that make me laugh about my childhood and I look back at with fond memories. There are darker parts of our past however that are harder to get into.

My brother left for the military shortly after college. After returning from basic training he came home with confidence that we had not seen in him before. It was great for the entire family, but when it came time to choose which video game to play it was bad for both him and I. I had been at my own school and was currently in my third year and so my brother and I had not been spending much time in the same location. I believe it was Christmas break for both of us and spending time together was something we were both not used to. When the video games came into conflict violence broke out immediately. In a way similar to WWII this was the last time my brother and I got into any type of physical fight. It was the most violent fight either of us had ever been in and ended with a black eye for me and getting kicked out of the house for him. We have not been the same since that point. It would be nice to have a brother that is confident about his ability to handle the world but I could not let this confidence tread in an area that I felt was mine. I can imagine it would have been a blow to his ego to learn that his military training still could not take down the enemy of a brother that he had at that moment and must have changed something in him to avoid rather than confront.

I still believe that later in life we will both become closer to one another. Maybe it will take a colossal event like both of us having kids, but someday in the future my brother and I will be on a similar level. It’s impossible that we stop being brothers and so no matter how much we hate one another we will always be in each others lives. The fight between brothers has been going on for so long that it’s built into all of our minds. We know how brothers act and to learn about myself in this way I can learn about everyone, because everyone knows that brothers fight.