Category Archives: Shawman

The Shawman Toolkit- Sage

This article is intended for anyone that wants to start incorporating tools for the function of heightening the psychedelic experience. There are many tools by which this can be done, sage being just one of them. Personally, I have been around sage many time throughout most of my life but generally disregard the plant for the same general reason why I disregard sound healing and acupuncture, but as I look for additional tools by which I can heighten the experience of my people my search is becoming broader.

Today we will be talking about sage which is a plant that has been used in medicine since ancient times. Traditionally it has been used to ward off evil spirits, treat snake bites, increase a woman’s fertility and more. It’s a known diuretic and anesthetic, and so is pretty much good for any type of tingle, snag, burp, or bump.

The practice of using sage to clear space of negative energy is called smudging and has been around for thousands of years. When burned sage is believed to be able to clear negative energy as well as provide protection from negative energies to come. Traditionally smudging is done with each of the four elements reenacted through the dish (water), the erb (earth), the burn (fire), and the smoke (air). The idea is that it’s the smoke that gathers negativity as it passes through and over objects. As the smoke is ushered away so is the negativity. The important part of the process is the intent of the person performing the smudging in that one should focus on exactly what one wants to get out of the process.

As I alluded to at the beginning of this essay, there is an element of mysticism that I have always been in opposition to. In reflection upon the ancient tradition I don’t think there is anything to it, meaning; it would not stand the scrutiny of a double blind study on the effectiveness of cleansing properties of sage beyond the power of intent or placebo, but let us not overlook the power of placebo in its cultural influence that is not evenly distributed or random. The ancients were able to tune into something that was later found out to be more than meaningful, useful. Why is it that our culture gatherers beliefs around specific things? Things like archetypal stories or color. Let us be careful to not fall into the same pit as the masses with things like religion, self-help, or vanity in that we seek to not only use the wisdom of the past but to build upon such foundation, shaky though they may be. To transcend the cultural effect attached to something like sage would be something only a Sage could be capable of. For the average human sage, in addition to being an anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, and smelling nice, provides a sense of meaning in connection with a old tradition which is not a power that can be gained easily but is such the power of the scientist.


“For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”




Going into the unknown

Agitated to a degree that I will no longer allow me to continue to cope. From inside my mind something new begins to appear. A vision of the world to be. The vision becomes clearer not with time but rather with certain events. It’s these events that drives the hunt, but oh how much I hurt. How much can I take before I become at a loss for everything. Rolled down the dirt until my only habits include eating greasy sugar, gaming in solitude and never making real connections with the world around me. But who’s not searching for the answer to the other side. The next upgrade in the world system. Books; books that teach you something about how to look at the world differently. Eckhart Tolle- The Power of Now put me totally zenned out for months. Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power helped me take over the non-profit organization I was working for at the time. Nietzsche.

From a very young age I can remember having a profound curiosity with the world. Something that developed with the help of my community and the resources of growing up in America. In elementary school it was dinosaurs and rocks.In high school it was evolution and atheism. In college my mind exploded with philosophy. I got into trouble all along the way, mostly because I don’t care too much for convention. I think this whole thing is a joke. Why so serious is my question, and when I’m out in the world making a muckery of things, what good could it possibly do? Because I am making a muckery of things and there are many that would have me stopped.

A lot of what I do gets boggled up because of when I got dislodged from my ideal tregetory way back when. Now I am living the life of the type of person that I wanted to become but with a few major flaws keep me from real life flow. The goal would be an able bodied sailor with a sharp mind, body, and wit.  Ready for anything and happy for a challenge. Well the challenge is this- Don’t be awkward around people you don’t know. Don’t be a casual dick that prevents people from getting close to you. Do bring the fun. Do work hard on the things that are important to you.

It was last night that a friend and I were able to share a new world with three kids that were ripe and ready for the experience. Their enthusiasm lit my world up and I was able to fulfill the teaching role that I am always looking for. It played to my strengths in a way and I was able to learn just as much as even the kid on the bed who reached something of a cosmic state of enlightenment; with his eyes rolled strait up and face contorted in pure concentration, yet still perfectly aware of his surroundings. All three of these guys were completely blown away by the experience and all so grateful. The meekest one of the group nervously confronted me and called me somthing of a god. It’s was too much power and responsibility to be handled by me with his mind so open almost like I could do anything I want. I shaped him with a hammer and chisel, gently and with care, but masculine in character. The third and final dude had a way of relating to me personally in that he understood my vulnerability and played with it in a way that softly coaxed me out and made me aware of my own aggression. A valuable lesson for my improvement. It was my co-conspirator that shook it the most.

There have been a few choices in my past for which I chose the lesser direction when the high road was perfectly available. It comes from a self consciousness that drives me down in class and status. When the higher world makes its appearance I choose the lower path, because I know that am not ready. I could not stand in such a place without the skills of discipline expected of all who make. These things I will learn but for now there is plenty of magic down here to feed off of.

There is much I disagree with my partner over and I have thought about leaving him for a different path but something about his wild character creates such a strong allure that he makes for an attractive enemy. An opponent with the same higher purpose and different methods of getting there. I am pushed to grow in ways I could have never imagined for myself and can feel myself pushed towards a new phase of integration.

The time has come for me to change. Finding inspiration in the minds of others, this golden energy has filled me with abundance and the ability to relate to world on real plane that pierces through fog and bullshit. The irony is that this entire time I have been frantically searching for friends and a sense of belonging when now I understand that my path will be one of solitude and dedication to be achieved first before I find the fruit I am looking for. It’s through social situations that I will make business and learn the rules to define value. The reality is that friends are rare so enjoy the quality time that you spend with them and make sure that they can always feel your love.

Cogito Ergo Sum- I think therefore I am. Wherever you go there you are and there you go shaping the world around you, building new creations, changing. We are all very special (or at least we like to think we are), put on this world to revel in existence for a short time before the greatest plunge into the unknown is taken. Never certain but with a sense that everything is going to be alright. I love all of you and feel like something great is about to happen. I don’t know what is but I know that we are all play a role and that it is of the highest importance that we do it right.

Or maybe I’m crazy and this is the ranting of a lunatic into the cold and unforgiving abyss. But as the saying goes- Stare long enough into the abyss and eventually the abyss stares back.


Thanks for reading,

As always, I am passionately searching for the next clue by which I may be uplifted into the next level. Maybe you know what it is. Drop a comment and let me know.

Gangsta from the Emerald Triangle

The Emerald Triangle

Every year hippies and vagabonds travel from all over the country for trim season in Northern California. For a few weeks or a few months thousands of trimmers trim weed from morning until night in something of a hippy concentration camp. Farms pay anywhere from $100 or even up to the fabled $300 per pound. In either case the job is similar to something you would find in an eastern sweatshop. Long hours, near zero job security, virtually no skill development, and a job so mind numbing that only those so high that they cant see the pot forest through all the smoke are willing to do it.

I apologies to all those who feel that trimming is one of the greatest gifts to the lower class known to man and I must admit that if you are an illegal immigrant or cant find work doing anything else then yes, trimming weed is the perfect job for you. Not for me. In this post I will be going through my life coming away from the Emerald Triangle and the type of thing that you get into, not when you trim weed but when you sell it.

My journey started off about two weeks ago. I was living in a Subaru in Seattle working as a pedicaber making ends meet one day at a time. An old friend I knew way back from my Hawaii days gave me a call and said that he needed some help with his harvest. Something about the timing of the phone call gave me some sort of spiritual vibes and so I left Seattle without a second thought. Looking back I am a bit frightened at how far away from reason this call pulled me. It was not as if there was anything holly about my friend but in any case I left without a second thought.

I found two riders on Craigslist that helped with the gas money on the way down. They both turned out to be super awesome people and I was able to learn from them the entire ride down. Spent a night in Portland and then arrived in North Cali the following night. The town that I was to meet my friend was way up in the mountains and I could not find a place where my phone could connect and so had to drive a few (30) miles back from where I came from just to get in contact with my friend. We were eventually able to meet up and he was able to show me the world that he had been living in sense we last talked way back on the island of Maui.

Up in the mountains without service everyone was as hippy as it gets, some sort of trailer person, or reder than redneck; brown neck if you will. Without phones we spent most of our time running from house to house making deals and straitening out our shit before we bounced town, which didn’t take long for us to do. In a place where there is so much weed and no money, everyone owed someone else some money. I don’t think that we got our shit perfectly strait before leaving because as we were leaving we got chased down by a dump truck that chased us down the exit road at top speed. The only reason we made it out alive was because the truck owner was a felon and driving on the public highway would have been a huge risk for him. We only barely made it to the main road but we were off. We had no money but a fuck-ton of weed and we were hitting it off like two crazed bats finding a new mountain for the first time.

Its been four days sense we were chased down by the truck. Its been a super slow and chill journey. In just about every town we pass through we stop and try and sell weed to anyone that will have some. Because of how slow we are rolling its a great way to explore the state. Selling weed is getting much easier the further away from North Cali we get. This type of life has been gangster shit the entire way too. More gangster than I am used to handling in my everyday life.

The first night we were parked waiting for a friend to get home when a girl that looked homeless asked us for a cigarette. She didn’t look harmless at all and we asked if she wanted to smoke some weed with us. She denied us and walked away. Just down the road we saw her get into a Cadillac and drive away. My friend got sketched out and told me to get in the car and drive. Just as I had pulled out of my parking spot the Cadillac came around the corner and someone held a strobe light out the window so that I could not make out who was in the car. “Got weed bitch” I heard someone say. In less than 5 minutes we were miles away from that spot and not about to go back.

The next night we traded some bud for a little thing called Lucy. We were in a college town and were able to climb the homeless hierarchy with extreme efficiency. Around noon we were talking to street kids at their pick-neck spot, by midnight that same night we were talking with what appeared to be an ordained hippy shaman who claimed that he was three hands down from the laying of the acid. Maybe it was the acid but I was super impressed with our short work in that town.

In Cali the weed laws have changed drastically in the past few years. You can legally carry up to 28 grams and if this law is broken it’s similar to a traffic ticket in that there is no jail time. Still, it is illegal to sell and today we had our first encounter with the police. My friend ran and all the cops chased him. He was able to ditch the weed before the cops caught him but still put behind bars. At this point in our journey we are balling and so he was able to pay his own bail and we are still rolling our way down to SoCal. Lucky.

We take each day at a time and the beginning of our trip was a struggle but now I feel that we are strait kicking ass. I cant say how long I will stay with this type of lifestyle. It doesn’t suit me as well as something where I keep my head lower but its new and exciting. The payoff is huge and I might just stick with it until shit goes a little crazier. Who can say? Not me. Maybe future me can. Stay tuned and I will let you know.

-Cheers mates

DMT- An Introduction

Let’s take a kid that grows up in a home where the father is liberal and the mother a bit over protective. This kid goes to school where they tell everyone that sex is for heathens, that alcohol will make you fat, and that marijuana kills. Eventually this kid gets halfway through high school and tries a drink. Finding that it didn’t make them fat they try some marijuana. Still alive they try out some psychedelic mushroom to discover that the experience is more than amazing. Eventually this kid get to college where they are confronted with an assortment of powders, liquids, and everything in-between. Having the intuition to sense the guiding light that seems to be associated with the word psychedelic, our kid takes a hit of DMT.

Humans have long known about DMT and have used it through the ritual practice of ingesting ayahuasca, which has been going on for at least the last 5000 years. DMT is the active ingredient in ayahuasca which gives the drink its psychedelic properties. When the Jesuit missionaries first discovered the practice of drinking ayahuasca the reacted by calling it a “diabolical potion” and prohibited the indigenous from continuing their practice. When the missionaries asked medicine men how they discovered the drink the medicine men replied “the plants told them how to do it”. Considering the complexity that goes into the process of making ayahuasca, the plants make a compelling argument. DMT is produced naturally in the body (somewhere) and is found in most living things to greater or lesser degrees. Today pure DMT can be extracted, most commonly from the root bark of the Mimosa tree which has the highest concentration of DMT contained within (about 1.7%).

The experience of smoking pure DMT feels like something out of this world. Visions of intense fractalization accompanied with a ringing that could be music. Some common reports of the experience are of talking with entities that are able to communicate with the user in ways that are far and beyond words. Words like machine elves, the green lady, bug people are all commonly used in describing the experience and, there is even an effort being made to create additional lexicons with the hopes of expanding upon the human ability to describe the experience. We still have a long ways to go.

My first experienced of smoking DMT started out with a loud ringing in my ears as well as the fractalization of my vision. The ringing gradually grew louder as well as the fractalization until I could no longer decipher my old reality and was forced to submit to the chaos of the experience. Eventually I had to close my eyes and lay back in the chair I was seated in. In my minds eye I was washed over by a wave a green light that then transformed into a green female entity who I realized was the creator of the ringing. The ringing then became arpeggiated and morphed into the most beautiful song I have ever heard in my life. It was like this green lady could communicate with all things that use DMT. Not only was she communicating with all form of life on earth but also with other forms of life throughout the universe and she was able to communicate the wisdom of her experience to me through song. I was in awe of this lady for what felt like 20 minutes before I came back to my body to see my friends again, all chillin in the room around me. I was left with the feeling that something very important had happened, and that I had learned something great. In the same way that a truly awesome experience effects the user, the afterglow of the experience lasted for a considerable time as I at least believed that I had unlocked new abilities within myself.

There is something amazing and strange going on with the experience of DMT. I can’t say if I believe it is the source of all spirituality, as some people do, but I do think it’s worth investigating. Research on the substance is only just now getting started and even then most do not believe that the field of neuroscience is up to date enough to make real progress in explaining what is happening. As humans, we have much to learn about the space we exist in and as long as there remains mystery in the universe, then so shale humans explore. I highly recommend the experience that DMT has to offer.

Good luck on your search my friends.

Mediation for Psychonauts

The first words person said to me once were “Hey man, want to take some acid?” That was something said to me back when I was in college and that person turned into a good friend. I had never done acid before but even since tripping on mushroom in high school the acid thing had been on my to do list. At that moment when he propositioned me with the tripping idea I had never even had to chance to say yes to such a thing, but it felt right and so I took two hits acid with him and his friends.

The night was filled with many different adventures anywhere from shouting at trains to falling into a moat that surround the prison in the forest behind my house. The moment that really stuck out to me about that night did not take place in the world per say. It happened in my own mind (much like every moment I suppose but bear with me). I remember there being this kid that would not shut up. All night he would jibber jabber about nothing important. Sitting there in the same room as him I decided to tune him out. Finding this easy to do I shortly discovered that there was a song going on in the back of my head and so I decided to tune that out as well. Then I noticed my feet and other extremities which I would then tune out as well working all the way down through my mind until I found myself looking down at my own body from about two feet above my own head. Needless to say, this experience took me by surprise and just like that I snapped back into my own body and started looking around the room with my eyes, once again. Exclaiming to my friends at my new discovery I prepared to go back into that amazing state of mind but found that I could not. There were too many distractions and when I would try to tune things out they would pop right back into my head moments later.

The experience of leaving my body had such a profound impact on me that it lead to an acid binge that would last the better half of a year, all focused on getting back to that point of being outside the body. I have heard that this type of search, the type of search where you are looking for that first high that felt so right but can’t ever quite get back is called, chasing the dragon. I have not had an out of body experience since that first acid trip and honestly, don’t really care if I do or not.

Now days I am open to such a thing happening but have lost touch with the thirst that took me during my college days. Now I am finding different states of consciousness that are far more interesting than what acid can be. Acid is a great drug to try and can make for some magical experiences but there is too much muck that comes with the territory and the muck is what I want to avoid more than anything. Now I focus on a type of pure relaxation while simultaneously being completely focused. This type of state is found most often while doing simple mediations. Most of the time I just sit and try not to think. Man, oh man, there are times when I can feel some internal source of frustration building upon itself and eventually pop to leave me in a state of calm that I did not know were possible These states are becoming more powerful as I get better at meditating and I feel like there is something even bigger coming up soon. I wonder what it will be.

There are also flow states which happen when you engage your mind in something so fully that your brain kicks into over drive almost like going super saiyen or something. New abilities will flow from my mind and out my body so forcefully sometimes that I find it hard to believe that I even had the power to do such a thing.

Health foods and a solid sleep cycle followed by a solid workout right to the brink of exhaustion and one can find themselves higher than a fucking kite. It can be hard to convince people just how high you can get when doing these types of activities though as I know all too well from when I was an active member of that class. I think the pull of these drugs is the simplicity. It’s like you can either spend 1k hours practicing meditation or you can just eat some paper and get there in half an hour but its not like that. Real human power comes from honing skills so that they can be expressed within any moment. To create the conditions for these type of things is something that generally takes lots of work. All that being said I am super open to micro dosing and treating it something like a vitamin.

I have known people that can get fucked up every day of the week and any drug you can think of and be perfectly ready to go to class the next day. I am not one of these people. I have done a lot of different drugs in my life and many of these drugs I have done many times and most of these guys will floor me for a day after taking them. Most of these drugs I will never try again and can hardly think why I thought it was such a good idea at the time. I have sacrificed much for this wisdom but at least I have the ability to share with you now through the medium of writing. Shrooms and dmt. That’s it. Fuck everything else.

I once knew a kid that tried to convince me that drinking cough syrup was the most spiritually enlightening thing that anyone can do. I look at most people that push drugs the same way I looked at the cough syrup guy. Like fucking twat pushers. So, to anyone like me in the fact that I am fairly intelligent and able to fit smoothly into many different social situations and wanting to experiment with the psychedelics, I would say to wait until you have found the right people. This experiences will have a massive effect on you and should only be done with people that you admire and want to become. Learn from what you go through and in the end fasting for three days will bring more insight and get you higher than you can ever get on acid. End of story.

Pan and the modern world

There is a thing called character and it would seem that we are born with it. The character is something that continues to develops through the actions that are learnt from parents, friends, and peers. The path of the strong is to take control of this process and escape the limitations placed upon the development of character by society. To remake oneself can be one of the greatest and most pleasurable tasks in life. An artist of artists molding a persona as if it were mud or clay. For most of history only kings had access to the self-consciousness necessary to make these kinds of changes. Gradually the task of self-creation has pervaded many layers of society and now most have been given this responsibility of consciousness. Where we take the ability of self-creation is up to everyone individually and in this paper, I lay out what I feel captures an essential part of what humanity must become and in so doing give the individual an additional tool for the creation of the self.

The Greek god Pan was born of the union between the trickster god Hermes and a wood nymph. At seeing the half man, half goat creator his mother fled back into the forest out of fear. Pan was then brought to Mount Olympus where the gods were delighted by his outrageous form and charming laughter. Pan lords over the mountains, the woodland forests, the gently-flowing streams, and the open pastures of the countryside and in this way, stands in opposition to developed society. His paradoxical nature of being a fierce hunter along with a gifted musician and nimble dancer add to his charm and seductive power.

One of the few gods to die, his death is associated in time with the death and rebirth of Christ. In this sense the death of Pan implies the rejoicing of the greater light of Christianity and the mourning of the passing and separation from societies of more primal instincts. Ultimately Pan became associated with the image of Satan with his semi-bestial appearance, unabashed sexuality, and profound relationship to the world of nature and animal instinctually. Representing a fear of a primal way of life, Pan was demonized and a connection with the grace of nature was forgotten.

The natural world is something of great power that man has feared and fought throughout existence. Today it seems that we have almost won the war for total domination over the environment but in so doing we have lost the way. Focused intently on victory it seems that we have overlooked many of the consequences and now find ourselves naked once again in spite of our garments and articles of clothing.

To revel again in Dionysian ecstasy at the coming of spring. To re-learn the inborn sensitivity to ecosystem that surrounds us. Now is time for the rebirth of Pan and a reunion of the old values in rustic innocence and our most deeply felt passions in the natural world. We need Pan now more than ever. To some this will look like the coming of the Anti-Christ and great societal challenges await his rebirth, but the magic of Pan is that he does not walk where society has set its roads. His way is near the outskirts in the trees and rivers where no set paths have yet been laid. To create from the spirit of dance something alluring with such strength as to sway the foundations of the modern mechanical way of life. What he urges is for us to fully reawaken to the animate qualities of the natural world, thereby reestablishing our relatedness to both nature and our instinctual soul. Pan is far from dead for he keeps on being reborn in all kinds of strange ways.