Category Archives: Shawman

DMT- An Introduction

Let’s take a kid that grows up in a home where the father is liberal and the mother a bit over protective. This kid goes to school where they tell everyone that sex is for heathens, that alcohol will make you fat, and that marijuana kills. Eventually this kid gets halfway through high school and tries a drink. Finding that it didn’t make them fat they try some marijuana. Still alive they try out some psychedelic mushroom to discover that the experience is more than amazing. Eventually this kid get to college where they are confronted with an assortment of powders, liquids, and everything in-between. Having the intuition to sense the guiding light that seems to be associated with the word psychedelic, our kid takes a hit of DMT.

Humans have long known about DMT and have used it through the ritual practice of ingesting ayahuasca, which has been going on for at least the last 5000 years. DMT is the active ingredient in ayahuasca which gives the drink its psychedelic properties. When the Jesuit missionaries first discovered the practice of drinking ayahuasca the reacted by calling it a “diabolical potion” and prohibited the indigenous from continuing their practice. When the missionaries asked medicine men how they discovered the drink the medicine men replied “the plants told them how to do it”. Considering the complexity that goes into the process of making ayahuasca, the plants make a compelling argument. DMT is produced naturally in the body (somewhere) and is found in most living things to greater or lesser degrees. Today pure DMT can be extracted, most commonly from the root bark of the Mimosa tree which has the highest concentration of DMT contained within (about 1.7%).

The experience of smoking pure DMT feels like something out of this world. Visions of intense fractalization accompanied with a ringing that could be music. Some common reports of the experience are of talking with entities that are able to communicate with the user in ways that are far and beyond words. Words like machine elves, the green lady, bug people are all commonly used in describing the experience and, there is even an effort being made to create additional lexicons with the hopes of expanding upon the human ability to describe the experience. We still have a long ways to go.

My first experienced of smoking DMT started out with a loud ringing in my ears as well as the fractalization of my vision. The ringing gradually grew louder as well as the fractalization until I could no longer decipher my old reality and was forced to submit to the chaos of the experience. Eventually I had to close my eyes and lay back in the chair I was seated in. In my minds eye I was washed over by a wave a green light that then transformed into a green female entity who I realized was the creator of the ringing. The ringing then became arpeggiated and morphed into the most beautiful song I have ever heard in my life. It was like this green lady could communicate with all things that use DMT. Not only was she communicating with all form of life on earth but also with other forms of life throughout the universe and she was able to communicate the wisdom of her experience to me through song. I was in awe of this lady for what felt like 20 minutes before I came back to my body to see my friends again, all chillin in the room around me. I was left with the feeling that something very important had happened, and that I had learned something great. In the same way that a truly awesome experience effects the user, the afterglow of the experience lasted for a considerable time as I at least believed that I had unlocked new abilities within myself.

There is something amazing and strange going on with the experience of DMT. I can’t say if I believe it is the source of all spirituality, as some people do, but I do think it’s worth investigating. Research on the substance is only just now getting started and even then most do not believe that the field of neuroscience is up to date enough to make real progress in explaining what is happening. As humans, we have much to learn about the space we exist in and as long as there remains mystery in the universe, then so shale humans explore. I highly recommend the experience that DMT has to offer.

Good luck on your search my friends.

Mediation for Psychonauts

The first words person said to me once were “Hey man, want to take some acid?” That was something said to me back when I was in college and that person turned into a good friend. I had never done acid before but even since tripping on mushroom in high school the acid thing had been on my to do list. At that moment when he propositioned me with the tripping idea I had never even had to chance to say yes to such a thing, but it felt right and so I took two hits acid with him and his friends.

The night was filled with many different adventures anywhere from shouting at trains to falling into a moat that surround the prison in the forest behind my house. The moment that really stuck out to me about that night did not take place in the world per say. It happened in my own mind (much like every moment I suppose but bear with me). I remember there being this kid that would not shut up. All night he would jibber jabber about nothing important. Sitting there in the same room as him I decided to tune him out. Finding this easy to do I shortly discovered that there was a song going on in the back of my head and so I decided to tune that out as well. Then I noticed my feet and other extremities which I would then tune out as well working all the way down through my mind until I found myself looking down at my own body from about two feet above my own head. Needless to say, this experience took me by surprise and just like that I snapped back into my own body and started looking around the room with my eyes, once again. Exclaiming to my friends at my new discovery I prepared to go back into that amazing state of mind but found that I could not. There were too many distractions and when I would try to tune things out they would pop right back into my head moments later.

The experience of leaving my body had such a profound impact on me that it lead to an acid binge that would last the better half of a year, all focused on getting back to that point of being outside the body. I have heard that this type of search, the type of search where you are looking for that first high that felt so right but can’t ever quite get back is called, chasing the dragon. I have not had an out of body experience since that first acid trip and honestly, don’t really care if I do or not.

Now days I am open to such a thing happening but have lost touch with the thirst that took me during my college days. Now I am finding different states of consciousness that are far more interesting than what acid can be. Acid is a great drug to try and can make for some magical experiences but there is too much muck that comes with the territory and the muck is what I want to avoid more than anything. Now I focus on a type of pure relaxation while simultaneously being completely focused. This type of state is found most often while doing simple mediations. Most of the time I just sit and try not to think. Man, oh man, there are times when I can feel some internal source of frustration building upon itself and eventually pop to leave me in a state of calm that I did not know were possible These states are becoming more powerful as I get better at meditating and I feel like there is something even bigger coming up soon. I wonder what it will be.

There are also flow states which happen when you engage your mind in something so fully that your brain kicks into over drive almost like going super saiyen or something. New abilities will flow from my mind and out my body so forcefully sometimes that I find it hard to believe that I even had the power to do such a thing.

Health foods and a solid sleep cycle followed by a solid workout right to the brink of exhaustion and one can find themselves higher than a fucking kite. It can be hard to convince people just how high you can get when doing these types of activities though as I know all too well from when I was an active member of that class. I think the pull of these drugs is the simplicity. It’s like you can either spend 1k hours practicing meditation or you can just eat some paper and get there in half an hour but its not like that. Real human power comes from honing skills so that they can be expressed within any moment. To create the conditions for these type of things is something that generally takes lots of work. All that being said I am super open to micro dosing and treating it something like a vitamin.

I have known people that can get fucked up every day of the week and any drug you can think of and be perfectly ready to go to class the next day. I am not one of these people. I have done a lot of different drugs in my life and many of these drugs I have done many times and most of these guys will floor me for a day after taking them. Most of these drugs I will never try again and can hardly think why I thought it was such a good idea at the time. I have sacrificed much for this wisdom but at least I have the ability to share with you now through the medium of writing. Shrooms and dmt. That’s it. Fuck everything else.

I once knew a kid that tried to convince me that drinking cough syrup was the most spiritually enlightening thing that anyone can do. I look at most people that push drugs the same way I looked at the cough syrup guy. Like fucking twat pushers. So, to anyone like me in the fact that I am fairly intelligent and able to fit smoothly into many different social situations and wanting to experiment with the psychedelics, I would say to wait until you have found the right people. This experiences will have a massive effect on you and should only be done with people that you admire and want to become. Learn from what you go through and in the end fasting for three days will bring more insight and get you higher than you can ever get on acid. End of story.

Pan and the modern world

There is a thing called character and it would seem that we are born with it. The character is something that continues to develops through the actions that are learnt from parents, friends, and peers. The path of the strong is to take control of this process and escape the limitations placed upon the development of character by society. To remake oneself can be one of the greatest and most pleasurable tasks in life. An artist of artists molding a persona as if it were mud or clay. For most of history only kings had access to the self-consciousness necessary to make these kinds of changes. Gradually the task of self-creation has pervaded many layers of society and now most have been given this responsibility of consciousness. Where we take the ability of self-creation is up to everyone individually and in this paper, I lay out what I feel captures an essential part of what humanity must become and in so doing give the individual an additional tool for the creation of the self.

The Greek god Pan was born of the union between the trickster god Hermes and a wood nymph. At seeing the half man, half goat creator his mother fled back into the forest out of fear. Pan was then brought to Mount Olympus where the gods were delighted by his outrageous form and charming laughter. Pan lords over the mountains, the woodland forests, the gently-flowing streams, and the open pastures of the countryside and in this way, stands in opposition to developed society. His paradoxical nature of being a fierce hunter along with a gifted musician and nimble dancer add to his charm and seductive power.

One of the few gods to die, his death is associated in time with the death and rebirth of Christ. In this sense the death of Pan implies the rejoicing of the greater light of Christianity and the mourning of the passing and separation from societies of more primal instincts. Ultimately Pan became associated with the image of Satan with his semi-bestial appearance, unabashed sexuality, and profound relationship to the world of nature and animal instinctually. Representing a fear of a primal way of life, Pan was demonized and a connection with the grace of nature was forgotten.

The natural world is something of great power that man has feared and fought throughout existence. Today it seems that we have almost won the war for total domination over the environment but in so doing we have lost the way. Focused intently on victory it seems that we have overlooked many of the consequences and now find ourselves naked once again in spite of our garments and articles of clothing.

To revel again in Dionysian ecstasy at the coming of spring. To re-learn the inborn sensitivity to ecosystem that surrounds us. Now is time for the rebirth of Pan and a reunion of the old values in rustic innocence and our most deeply felt passions in the natural world. We need Pan now more than ever. To some this will look like the coming of the Anti-Christ and great societal challenges await his rebirth, but the magic of Pan is that he does not walk where society has set its roads. His way is near the outskirts in the trees and rivers where no set paths have yet been laid. To create from the spirit of dance something alluring with such strength as to sway the foundations of the modern mechanical way of life. What he urges is for us to fully reawaken to the animate qualities of the natural world, thereby reestablishing our relatedness to both nature and our instinctual soul. Pan is far from dead for he keeps on being reborn in all kinds of strange ways.