Category Archives: Liberation

Elves live here

I never level capped in the world or warcraft, but I did get to explore and played until maybe the level of 40. I remember playing as an ork shaman and so started off my Wow life in Draenor. I made my way through the world of war-craft just as I am making my way around the USA. The are many parallels between America and Wow. Draenor is Colorado, the land of the dead is obviously New Orleans, Minnesota the dwarven realm, and now here in Seattle I have finally found the land of the elves.

If you look all people that fall under the label of “hippy” you might find a type of hierarchy. Most bums and riff raff here in America will call themselves hippies just because of their openness to new ideas and their convenient socialist ideals. As you climb the hierarchy, hippies become more disciplined and are often found practicing yoga and living a vegan lifestyle. At the very top of the hierarchy some hippies have taken to living in self sustaining tree houses much like the wood elves in Lord of the Rings.

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This type of life is something that I have been seeking for a long time and living here in Seattle has already started to effect my lifestyle in many ways. I have started the vegetarian diet and might send it to the vegan thing here soon and then yoga begins this next week. There is so much from my past that must die and even more in my future that has yet to be born and mature. The fear of falling back into old paths is abound but if not for perfection then what else could we aim for.

A friend of mine has come to me with a business proposition. He has asked me to go in with him in the business of flipping buses. The basics are that we take an old bus and turn it into a quality home for rich people to live out of. The idea of doing my own business and creating for myself is everything I could have wanted. They guy that I would be going into business is my opposite and I might even go so far as to consider him one of the dark order, organizer and leader of goblins, but something more of a man himself. The perfect antithesis of a high elf and everything I could want out of a co-creator.

The reason for writing this paper is to get my thoughts in order so that I can plan effectively for the future. The west coast is everything I could have dreamed of but staying here would mean delaying my dreams of world travel for a considerable amount of time. The risk would be great and I would be putting everything I have into this venture. If something were to go wrong I would be back at rock bottom for sure. A winter spent here in Seattle would be miserable, though a sacrifice that I would not be unwilling to commit. I would be living on a bus that I would also building and converting. I would not have a car. Transportation would be by bicycle and in a city where it rains about 150 days out of the year, most of which are in the winter, it would be quite the sacrifice.

On the other hand, there is the entire coast to explore and even still Australia looms in the distance. A trip down the coast in my Subi followed by a flight to Hawaii and then another jump to Australia and I am back on my world traveler plan. High end potential could be this blog taking off, online business, bartending, and all those side projects that I am constantly focused on. This plan doesn’t give me the knock my socks off business opportunity that I am looking for and so I am swayed to stay in Seattle but my confidence comes from holding back on commitment and waiting to see what thoughts mature and what thoughts do not.

Power over the self is the ultimate goal. Being able to say that you will do something and then following through and doing it is where meaning of self is created. I must admit weakness on this facet of life coming from my life in Denver. Many times did I say that I would change just to find that I could not break free from old habits. Here in Seattle I have already proven to myself that I am not confined by my old ways. What was it that changed that allowed me to make these forceful commands of life? How far can this power be pushed and tested? With what joy it is to discover a new power such as this.

A mantra that I have picked up in the past few weeks is to take it one step at a time. I need to remember to focus on the little things and let the macro unfold from diligently taken individual steps. Tonight I fill up the gas tank and buy groceries. This week I aim to spend no money Monday through Friday. Once you have everything you need the focus of life is left to shift. To what I cannot say. The great unknown is where the treasure hides. To explore uninhibited to find the secrets of life. To create. To destroy. To live by ones own word no matter the cost.

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Australia baby here I come

It feels like it’s all going to work out and come together just in the nick of time. It’s been too long that I have been under pressure to complete some task without the necessary resources, but now I have what I need to make the leap across the sea. All my bags are packed and I’m ready to go. As of today, there are two weeks until I leave for Australia. I do not know what I will get into in the remaining two weeks but I am sure that it will be an adventure worth writing about.

After working at Powder Mountain ski resort for the winter I returned to Colorado with 50 dollars and came to start saving money for the trip I am about to depart on. I was able to do exactly what I set out to do here in CO and was able to partake in a few extra adventures along the way. Some of which include working as a bartender for my first time, pirate party festival in Montana, getting a motorcycle, the hail storm, and then general adventuring around the city and in the mountains. There were more setbacks that I am willing to admit, and I am still working on not reacting negatively when life gives you the ol’ one two. Surely, I am making my way.

This past weekend I visited the family in Minnesota and was able to see all the close members that I have not seen too long. My mom’s new house, my brother’s awesome life, and my dad’s cabin in the woods. I know that I will miss them more than anything and this visit will be like my last breath of air as I plunge beneath the surface of America and my home.

There is so much to do. I still have not bought my plane ticket and will need to get on that as soon as I have my passport in had. I will need to figure out what to do with my remaining two weeks. The choice is between riding Vegas pedicabs or going to Portland to explore. I am leaning towards portland but cannot say for sure. I will make my decision at the last possible moment. Contacting my pedicab friends in CO and asking them if they want to go to Vegas is another option.

I am spending less of my time looking back. When I do look back it’s to learn from the past. To think about my wrongs and ways that I can correct so that when I am overseas I do not make mistakes that could potentially be catastrophic. More of my thought is put into the future and as the day come closer and closer I become more and more excited. I am sure that things will not go according to plan. I feel like they will go better, actually. Some things that are within the plan that I am looking forward to are things like pedicabbing in Melbourne, getting barreled on a surfboard, learning to scuba dive, seeing friends that are living on the other side of the world, living and loving in and outside of a car. Australia baby here I come!

Handling Escapism

I would wager that just about everyone has some form of escapism that they engage in on the daily. A fraction of these people recognize the opportunities that are missed because of the time that is spent on something that is not in direct attainment of life’s goals. For me, its most obvious in the urge to play video games comes because I have shortcomings in other parts of my life. In order to change my focus to something that I am competent in, I turn to video games to get a sense of gratification that I am not getting in the real world. It can be extremely challenging to keep from turning to these types of escapism when faced with overwhelming obstacles. In order to get at the root of escapism I have a few penetrating questions. Where do these negative emotions come from? Why is it that I am unable to control myself when confronted with these emotions? What could be some possible solutions for living a better life?

Firstly, defining what constitutes a negative emotion that then turns me to escapism. From the position that I sit in now it seems entirely irrational to do anything but build myself to overcome in the face of adversity, but this is not the case. One instance of a source of these negative emotions comes from going out at night in order to have fun and meet new people. Not all the time but often enough these events can cascade downward so that when I am leaving the bar I feel alone in that I was unable to make a solid connection with anyone that I met that night. This does not happen often but when it does it can be hard to deal with. Other things that can be hard to deal with are things like shortcomings at work, run-ins with the bad side of the law, and arguments between friends. These are the type of things that cause negative emotions and thus give rise to the will to escape from it all.

The ideal version of myself grows stronger when faced with adversity and at times I have experienced such a thing. A willpower arise that detaches emotionally in order to achieve the desired outcome. Other times a weakness that desires to neglect the reality of the situation in favor of something lazy and shameful wins. I can only understand the ebb and flow of these two internal drives as a necessity of life and therefor I must prepare for both.

Building a life that is full of positive emotions so that one would never even be tempted by escapism sounds disagreeable. This is not to say that I would do anything but pursue my dream of dreams, it’s just that I feel that anything worth doing should be challenging and therefore will include trying situations. For me, it’s not about finding the path free of road bumps but more so about strengthening the self in order to handle any road bump that might occur; and so I turn my attention to the weakest version of myself and ask: What’s wrong? Why are you unable to do what you know to be right? Is it a lack of courage or maybe you just don’t want it bad enough? From the heightened perspective of where I sit now I can offer few words that might help. Remember that life is short and that greatness can only be achieved by those who work for it. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, so take your time and start small. Just remember to keep moving forward. Like the butterfly that created the hurricane, a small step in the right direction could be the first step to shift the minds of millions. Without the first step, there is nothing.

So yeah. Writing is where I do my most precise introspective work and by publishing this online I hope that it may help anyone that stumbles upon my work. If you thought about anything at all while reading please leave a comment. I love to hear other perspectives and to build a community is some of the greatest thing we do as humans and I am looking forward to all of it.

In dem mountains

If only they new how real this life really gets. If only I knew how real this life really gets. A taste here, a taste there, give it all to me, as much as I can get. Colorado has given me quite the taste. Its been business for the better part of two months and now it looks as if I am making a transition into something a bit more night oriented. The friends that I have met along the way. The highs and lows. The future. Its a time of learning and growth and I feel focused and passionate about life. It can be challenging at times but I say that nothing is easy and that the best things are the hardest.

For me, Colorado started about 7 months ago when my friend invited me to come out and live with him in Boulder. A quick jaunt over to Powder Mountain for the winter season and then I came back in order to work and save up enough money for the next adventure. At first I was working three jobs all of which made under 20/hour. Not a bad wage but for sure a place where I knew that I would have to work a lot over the coming months if I was to save enough to get to where I wanted to go. There was about a month of working like that, looking for housing where I could find it, scraping by on less than enough. Then the hail storm hit and everything changed. I had a two week stretch where I might have put in two 80 work weeks and was getting paid much more than 20/hour. After that I bought myself a nice set of clothes and started looking at motorcycles. It was different than ever before and it was great.

For about a week after the hail I walked around in a daze hardly able to comprehend how I had gotten so lucky. I saw my life changing for all the better. I could now focus on making a business grow and work for me instead of me working for a business and trading my time for money. The connections that I made through this line of work were all great and I now party with some of the people I work with. Waking up passionately to solve problems and then walking with the drive to move parts and create order. I was on cloud 9 and could not be touched, or so I thought.

That’s when I got hit with the corrupt side of the legal system following the guile of resentful individuals. I still burn with rage at the misguided actions of blind individuals acting out of some ideal that I can not comprehend. The final court date has not arrived yet and so I cannot go into it further. All I can say is that when I am trying to build momentum and something like that happens that it takes its toll in ways that are more costly the society and the world than humans can afford. The cost of power.

On a lighter note, for the better part of two years have I been looking for a bartending job. My strategy was to lie about my experience telling employers that I had much more experience than I actually did. Must have worked at maybe 10 different bars all of which let me play for a day just to find out that I had no idea what I was doing. From these experiences was I able to gain a fair amount of knowledge about working behind a bar. The Ramada would have hired me without any experience at all. Its a slow hotel bar which is perfect for learning the trade. I spend the slow time reading books like bartending for dummies. On occasion we get busy and so I am able to practice my flow. Picking up a bartenders set at the bartending store tomorrow so that I can practice at home too. Its great. Waaaayyyyyyaaaa I feel blessed.

With working at the bar has turned me almost entirely nocturnal. I generally get off work sometime after two in the morning and then there is almost always someone about; either in the court yard smoking weed, outside stoopin it, or down the street at the Holiday Chalet. I was able to make friends with the folks at the Hotel Chalet which generally turns into a small basement party after bar close and goes well into the morning. I am planning on getting back to a normalish schedule tomorrow. Only time will tell.

This weekend I stumbled upon a silent disco in the Lodo area of downtown Denver. I was able to get a sweet video of myself waking through a large crown with the video focusing on me all sad about not having headphones. The thing about a silent disco is that you need the head phones otherwise its no fun. It would be hard to relate to all the people moving at the same time when you are unable to do so because you cant feel the beat. Eventually I made my way to the gate where I was able to grab a pare from someone that was leaving. After that the party was great. There were three different colors you could tune your headphones in on which corresponded with three different DJ sets. Green for electronic, blue for hip-hop, and red for salsa type stuff. As different hit songs were played waves of green, blue, and red would flow through the crowd. At first I spend my time dancing to green in crowds of blue but eventually I tuned to red and found a girl that knew how to move her hips. It was one of the best nights I have had in a while.

Work life, bar life, party life, all of the life. It feels great. Good things to come.

P.S. If your in the area and want to come visit me at the Ramada Saturday and Sunday nights feel free to drop by and order some cocktail that all bartenders should know how to make. 1150 E Colfax Ave, Denver, CO 80218. If your reading this at some point that is far away from right now, know that if you make friends with the people that work at the bar that they will probably show you secrets that most people never see in their lives. Good luck. Hope to see you soon.

Hail Storm-

We had all been dreaming about the day that hail storm would come. When it actually hit, I remember expecting to wake up from a dream. In an area that has just been clobbered by hail it feels like an emp just went off or something. Everything is quiet save the scattered people in their yards that are in dismay over all the destruction that has happened to their material possessions. The hail that we were dealing with got to baseball size in some areas and I heard stories of people inside their cars, terrified as the hail slowly beat through their windshields and they would have to hold the glass up as a sort of shield to protect them from the weather. It’s ironic that the same event that causes so much horror to some can cause joy for others. As I canvassed neighborhoods that had be wrecked by hail just hours before, did I realize how much of a blessing this hailstorm was for a guy like me.

I moved to Denver about a month before the storm. I was just coming from working as a lift operator over the winter and has very litter money and much more debt. My plan was to work in Colorado to pay off my debt and save for my trip to Australia. Quickly I found 4 jobs and steadily did I start chipping away. I remember thinking about making a grand in a week and constantly setting my sights on that goal but never quite getting there. Money can slip away so easily if you’re not sticky disciplined with it. At this point in my life I was in lockdown mode spending maybe 100 a week and saving the other eight. It took going through more than a few of my major demons but after a month in CO I had my work ethic down to a science and I was on track to becoming what I wanted to create out of myself.

I had worked out a nice schedule working with the two brothers from Altitude. The way we had it worked out is that I would get 50 bucks every time I got a guy on the roof. Every time I cleared into a new tier I would get a $25 bonus on every lead that I had generated that week. The tiers where set to increments of 10 making it a $250 bonus. The first week I hit 4 leads, the second 7, and the third 10. I was feeling good about my progress and ready to keep building.

It was Monday afternoon when the hailstorm struck. I was just getting off from one of my other jobs as a delivery driver for a catering company. I was riding the bus near cores field when we were pelted with hail the size of grapes. I got a text from the guy that pays me with a picture of him holding three softball size hail in his hand. I met up with this guy and we ride out to an area that has just been destroyed by the storm. This is where I get let loose. The third house I knock the lady is outside looking in dismay at what is left of her car. We schedule a quick appointment for the next day. The next people I talk to schedule appointments for three different houses all owned by them only after showing me the hail they have collected in their kitchen freezer. The next three houses in a row all sign up. I’m texting Kyle their information. We getting backed up already. Over the following two hours I was able to knock out 19 new leads. By the end of the night I was still questioning if I might be dreaming.

The next day was big. I woke up early and got out and up in the hood early. People were everywhere all clearing out from the damage of the storm and I was able to talk with all of them about the catastrophe the happened the day before. I didn’t eat lunch that day. I just worked. I remember take short moments for a reality check throughout the day to find that I had forgotten where I was. By the end of the day I had generated 30 additional leads. Financially, that was the best day of my life and I can now see why there are storm chaser across the country.

Now its two weeks after the storm. Thing have slowed down quite a bit but I am still out there punching away. I got my own business title last week- VentureExpansions and we have moved into the tree timing business and I have already sold three different tree projects to two different tree trimming companies. Three people have worked with me on sales projects, one of which I owe a small amount of money. Tomorrow I will meet with three grounds men who are looking to work for pay and learn the art of trimming a tree from the tree trimming guy that I met today. I am aware of how fast I am moving. The thought that this could derail at any time keeps me vigilant. The amount of damage that this could do is an exciting. Only time will tell how this little venture will affect the greater narrative.

VentureExpansions

Its official. VentureExpansions finally has a business license and is operating as a legit company helping people solve problems in the Denver metro area. Its great to be taking steps in a direction that I always knew I would travel. Its awesome to be connecting with people that are in need and to be able to provide them with a service that fulfills that need. Much discipline is still needed to get things going in the direction that I want them to go but things are at least moving in that general direction.

Its important to note that in the US 4/5 business will fail within the first year. Being that it is the first week Id say that its time to be as vigilant and aware as possible. So far we have sold about 80 roofing inspections to various companies and set up two tree trimming jobs with AR Custom Woodwerks. Total business generated could be estimated at about 40k. Total commission earned could be estimated at about 8k. Total commission received 2,020 dollar bills baby!

Tomorrow I am meeting with a professional tree trimmer who would like to get on board with what we are doing here at VentureExpansions in that he is in need of tools and jobs. AR Custom Woodwerks can provide him with the tools, and I here at VentureExpansions can provide him with the jobs. Tomorrow looks like it will be at least 4 of us working out in various neighborhoods. Two door to door sales guys, and two professional tree trimming guys. My focus now is care. As the one that is putting most of this stuff together, it has become my responsibility to make sure that everyone gets their just accommodations for the work that they are putting into the company. Assuming I can generate half the business I plan to generate we should be fine. The idea is to do such a good job that all of these guys will come back the next day thirsty for the things that I can provide. Charisma with my friends will be key. Strict business ethics will also be a focus. Its hard to believe that this stuff is coming through to thruition. So thankful. So blessed.

Now the new project for me is the social media aspect of things. With my focus divided between Facebook, you-tube, word-press, snap-chat, twitter, and Instagram (did I miss any?) it will be a whole new world to learn. There are some basic fears in starting out. Things like; did I promise more than what I can deliver? I have almost no overhead cost. Am I going to be able to handle the road bumps and are for sure in my future? Is what I am doing exactly legal? I sure hope no one gets hurt. At some point you have got to put your head down and go for it. Currently looking for people that I tree trimming expirience or want to learn such skills, and always looking for canvassers that are comfortable earning a great income that is commission based. I understand that this is going to take an awful lot of work but that is what makes me so excited about it at the same time.

It all comes from a place of peace and love, and so from there what could possibly go wrong. Whatever it is we will have to see. I plan on writing about this so if you would like to keep up to date with the story just let me know. Any and all advice would be great so be sure to leave a comment. It might just save my life.

Best

-Chris

How to quit a video game addition

It’s been going on 6 years that I have been trying to quit video games. I imagine all the skills that I would have learned by this point and in my mind, I feels great to quit and to start honing my craft, and yet when times get low and all I want to do is huddle up in my blanket and play what I know I am good at is when I relapse back into the thing that I swore never to partake in again. This is a research paper mostly for myself but can help anyone that wants to also follow in these research footprints in order to quit video games all together.

At first I was pulled into the game because of what it allowed me to do. For a moment, I could command troops like a military general and fight in a war bigger than myself. The graphics and skill are what got me going but it was the escapism that kept me there. There have been times when I am out downtown and looking to meet other people. Sometimes I find it hard to talk with other people are that is when I have the urge to escape back into my room to find that familiar video game that I know I can perform without humiliation. It’s a place that I know I have the skill to play. It’s a place that allows me to forget about the problems of life and focus on the problems of the game.

What has happened over the years is that what challenges my mind is more fascinating in the game than it is in real life. If you remember what the key to flow chart looks like there is a sweet spot in a task when the task is challenging but not too challenging to be frustrating, but also easy but not too easy to be boring. Life has gotten frustrating and so the game solves this with new inventive challenges. The new challenge is to make life a flow sport like that game has been for so long. To do this will take time.

It would seem that I need to grow my life in order to make it easy to find flow activity in. After my life has grown a certain degree then I will be able to easily take it to the streets when I am feeling like a gamer. It’s in this first faze that would be the hardest. The best option that I can think of right off the bat would be to use as much willpower as possible. Willpower is only so strong though so the next step would be to uninstall the game. Past this point the only thing I can think of is to really get into my own head how disgusting video game playing really is.

I have missed out on so many opportunities because of gaming. If I had put my time into anything other than the game that I played I could have easily mastered it by now. If I would have played an instrument with this time I would have been able to travel to New Orleans with passions and then been able to make friends and even had sex with many more women that I did the last time that I went. If I would have spent all that time working or even looking for a job I would have had maybe 10 grand in the bank right now and probably be driving a car. If I would have spent that time reading I could have brought all my friend new information and been a much more interesting person than I am. If I would have spent all that time in the gym exercising I would be buff as shit right now. What has video gaming done for me. I was able to connect with a few friends through the game but nothing ever really came of it. Instead I zonk myself out in a chare somewhere and neglect the things that are really important in life.

Video games are a bunch of shit when played in excess. If you like them than good for you. If you like women or the outdoors or money or anything that good an important in this work then you will not play video games and instead work on bettering yourself because bettering yourself is what this is really about. Who wants to sit with the same skill set their entire lives? We all want to be good and then we all want to be great. Let’s make this life about becoming great, not about playing some bullshit until life catches up with us and we are forced to take action. Take action now. Become better at something.