Category Archives: From nothing to something

A Story of Coming Up

This is a story of coming from darkness into the light, which has been theme on this blog. At one level I wish I could stay in the good life and keep on building from there, but life is full of surprises and everyone is tossed from the saddle from time to time. The value that I hope to give people who read my blog is the moment of climbing back into the saddle. In these moments can we make that triumphant cry but only with bloodshot eyes that know there is a long road ahead and that this is only the first step of a long journey. Here is an invitation to come along for the ride on yet another first step.

The past few weeks of my life it’s been hard work just to stay afloat. Mostly adrift I have been looking for something to give greater purpose and ground me in the life of my dreams. There have been two types of people that I am working with along the way and they are the people that I know I should be around, and the people that my parents know I should not be around. When it comes to a supportive environment free of the bad kind of drugs and full of the right type of attitude, my friends are split. In my mind I know that I should be hanging out with the people that fit the mold, but for sometimes I feel more comfortable with the dirty kids. Maybe it’s some sort of superiority complex where I need to feel and act like a boss. Whatever the case my life is wild and I have been teetering on a line filled with all the good and all the bad I could ever imagine.

As I continue to get into more and more crazy experiences (see “Going into the unknown”) I start to think about grounding and the events that build character. Part of me wants to run away and go headlong back into travel, but deep down I feel that I need to build something of a community and stay in one place long enough to face my demons. I was hoping that this type of grounding and greater significance in life could be found through work. A job that I love doing and one that would allow me to attain my greater aspirations in life. At first I thought that job would come by selling cars and so I tried my hand. It was an emptiness in my stomach and a yearning for more that told me it was time to find something new. In the three weeks I worked at Subaru I sold three cars and so feel that I can say that I left not because I was a bad salesman but because I am bad at working with a team. One of my demons to be faced for sure.

Living in a car with a job can feel like a bird without a nest. Living in a car without a job can be like falling into a pit without bottom. I spent the few weeks after Subaru doing some of the worst activities. Eating cheap and unhealthy, surfing junk online at whatever library I found suitable for the day. There are a few positive things the be said about my decident path. First, my meditation has stayed with me through thick and thin. 20 min a day on the usual. These practices have been expanding into a domain I can only hint at here, on this webpage, and in this current reality, into something truly profound with a path of clear challenges to be overcome. Second, I always find time to hit the gym and work my body, and it shows if I do say so for myself! My reading has also stayed on point and I will be picking up a book called The Art of Seduction as soon as I am finished with this. On the same page as reading I will say that my curiosity with life has never come close to turning off. Constantly am I looking for new things to learn and this studious attitude towards life is taking me far. I really do love learning and what may be more, I love knowing, as little as that may be. As sick and as lonely as I can feel at times, I can always look back and say at least there was this.

Ok, now it’s time to tell you the kicker. The thing that I found that provides me with so much meaning and direction and purpose that it’s changing my life. It’s a job, the job I picked up after my job at Subaru, and it’s a job that takes me in quite the opposite direction. That job is a ski instructor at a mountain about and hour from the city of Seattle. My first day was just a week ago and it’s taken over my life by (snow) storm. On my first day the hill was so crowded and the demand for instructors was so high that my second lesson I worked solo with 12 fresh new skiers. With no training it was my responsibility to get these folks (mostly around the age of 28) from gaper level skiers to something that might be able to hit a chairlift. Dare I say that I am training future rippers capable of dreaming up their next runs in the nights before they hit the slopes. Unfortunately this is not the case for everyone.

Some of the best moments of my life have been had on the side of a snow covered mountain. Conveying this to people is the best part of my job, but the reality is that most people suck and take a learning class just so they can think that they are getting unusually good at technique when in actuality it’s almost entirely about the attitude. The attitude of pushing your limits is the thing that is going to get you super good at skiing. What I get paid to do is to hold gapers hands and tell them things that make them feel like they are getting some type of understanding. I try and enlighten people to the truth as much as I can, and the truth is that if you want to get good at something you need to keep pushing your comfort zone.

The people that go pro will go for years without lessons because they have the “can do” attitude and don’t need lessons. What anyone can do to get good fast is hit the bunny hill until they can make a turn left and make a turn right. After that has been accomplished they need to take the chair (even against better judgement) and then get something like 400 right turns and 400 left turns in. After that has been accomplished its time to take it to the gnarliest terrain possible and send it as hard as you can.So long as it doesn’t kill you, you are going to come out stronger. This is the point where something akin to the title of ripper can been attained. Here is when people are capable of loving the sport for the sport itself. But hey, that’s a tall mountain for anyone to climb and I don’t expect it of everyone.

I worked with a young boy about the age of 6 for my last lesson today. We started with boot work and then gradually moved up to walking on flat ground with skis attached. After that we worked on hiking up the mountain without sliding backwards and then bombing a short distance without falling. By the end of hour one he was making turns and even stopping mid run. When I told him that I thought he had a natural gift for this sport he shrugged and said he figured as much. After a day of teaching people, most of which will never find their passion, it felt like a gulp a hot cider after a long and cold walk through the rain to work with this kid. He had the attitude and thus had a future in the sport of skiing. I can’t wait to see him next week to we how much further we can get.

I have been saving the best until last and must say that the feeling I get from working with people that really learn comes in a close second but first the feeling I get from the woman of the mountain. Everyday I teach up to 40 different people how to ski. I am doing public speaking about something that I love and all day I get to dick off and hit on women in a sly and politically not appropriate manner. It’s clear when a girl is into me and it’s something that happens slightly less than once a class, making it something like 3 girls a day. At first I was taken in by my co-workers. The girl at the shop, the girl at the ticket counter, a fellow instructor; but as of now its all about the girls I teach. I am kickin it with one the day after tomorrow. We are meeting up near the ferry, next to the bay of the Puget Sound, downtown Seattle. I can’t think of a better place for a first time.

Life always feels better with greater meaning. Meaning may be very thing that makes life feel good. A job can be a great source of meaning and a great job will do exactly that. Money will always be a problem but now, at the end of the day, I enjoy the food more because my body is exhausted from a solid day of work. Now, leave work and feel like a made a difference in someone’s life. Now I can say I made a difference in my life. I feel good about my life and where I am going. Hope you’ll stick around to see how it goes because I will be sure to let you know. I will be here, writing, learning, living and loving. Be sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think. Best blessings and I hope that you too can find something that gives you meaning.

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Tips and Tricks for living in your car

It’s been almost 5 months that I have been living in my car. There have been many upgrades that I have been able to make and have come a long ways from when I was sleeping in the back seat on nothing but the matting that is provided upon purchase. Now I live in a capable vehicle that can go from full size bedding to a 5 seater in less than ten minutes. The car community here in Seattle is off the chain as Seattle is home to more car campers than anywhere else in the country. My life is something that you would expect from anyone that lives in their car, although I must claim that I am faring better than most would be in my position. A few things that that I would like to talk about are; charging your phone, hanging out, and work.

First, as anyone can attest, we all carry around phones and much of our lives are devoted to the task of keeping the phone alive. For most people the day is started with a phone at full battery because it can be charged when asleep. For me it’s just the opposite and for a long time I would spend a good chunk of my day at starbucks for no other reason than that I would need to charge my phone, which could take something along the lines of an hour or more! Over the past few months I have realized the importance of batteries and the different ways to charge them. For starters I have a $20 batter that I picked up from Target that gets its power via USB which I keep plugged in to my car port and is good for a +30% after a day of driving. I also have a JobRocker Max which functions both as a battery charger as well as a boombox. It’s got a great battery life as and is good for maybe three or four charges when at max juice. I am not able to plug this in to my car as so simply look for opportunities to plug it into an outlet whenever I get the chance, but mostly I just carry it into starbucks maybe once every other week. I do not feel that it’s healthy to go in to a starbucks for the sole reason of charging the phone and I try to stay away from this with the help of these batteries. I also have a computer but don’t like to rely on it.

Hanging out in different parts of the city is the biggest advantage of living in your car. If I want to move to the north side it’s as simple as finding a parking spot where no one will bother me. This is a very simple to find but I will note that public parks are generally not open past dusk and even if the park does provide all the best places to wake up in the morning and pee, people will get annoyed and the cops will often be called. Shame really. On the real though, there is generally a solid place to park within one mile of anywhere in the city. I make it a point to schedule my life in a way where I can sleep in the most convenient of places and am able to drive far less than someone that needs to end up in the same place every night. I have made it a point to not park in the same spot twice though I do have a few favored spots.

A sub point that I would like to make that will look and feel a lot like bragging, but could provide some real use for anyone that is looking to use this as a model for building their own car type of living situation, is the point of the luxury type of living situation that I find myself in. In my center console I have all my grooming supplies along with various charging cables. In the compartment under the climate control I keep my weed, pipe, scissors and most other paraphernalia type equipment (pots legal in Washington, other stuff that I keep there, not so much). In the glove box I keep tissue and snacks, and behind the seats I use for storage by which I can fit all of my possessions. It helps coming into this lifestyle being a practicing minimalist. In the back I have laid a full size futon mattress that I got specifically because it is about half as thick as your regular mattress and so I am able to fold the seats up and down without too much effort. I keep the JobRocker Max in between the drivers and passenger seats at night and then move it to the back bed in during the day. It’s plenty warm with two sleeping bags and a blanket and I have more than enough room for two, which happens on occasion though not nearly enough! Another important point is that the back seat windows are tinted. This is something I did not think about when I bought the car but is something that has proved to be incredibly valuable as it protects the privacy of my room.

Last but not least I will speak on my job. Currently I am working as a ski and snowboard instructor up on the mountain. I am able to keep the board on top of the car and my boots in the front seat. The mountain that I work at is a good 40 miles away from anywhere that anyone would typically live and my shift are typically 3 or 4 days in a row. I am able to save on time and gas by camping in the region of my work which is not only efficient but also epic. It get lonely way up there in the woods but there are a few local bars that I can go into to make fun of the locals and to stave off the pain that comes with solitude. There is also all the greatness that comes with solitude as well. Books, meditation, writing, research, social media, building the consciousness of the future are all things that I have a passion for and all things that I find in abundance when living in my car.

And Then Some

My last post, published a few weeks back was called from nothing to something. The post contains much valuable information for anyone that is struggling with rebuilding their lives and looking to build from a place of need. A few weeks ago, I was face to face with having to build from nothing once again. The frustration that accompanies facing the same problems again and again is either crushing or motivational. When you have nothing, being crushed can be an extremely dangerous thing because when you think you’re at rock bottom, any worse than that and you might find yourself dead. As is always the case, I write these articles not only to help others but also to help myself. I hope that you can find value in my attempts to sort myself out.

First things first, I don’t have nothing and certainly have more than many. I have two hands and two feet, a mostly functioning brain and the ability to speak. And so, I looked at myself and figured out what I can do to get where I need to go. I knew that I needed to get stable in a way that would allow me to progress in the direction that I needed to progress. Here in Seattle the job-hunting process was harder than I expected but at one point it becomes a numbers game and depends on how many resumes you can dish out. For every 10 resumes I sent, I would get less than one phone call in return, and that was resumes where I would put in the research and write a long cover letter. Maybe I need to update my resume or maybe my work history is catching up with me. At this point in my life getting a job is taking some work but eventually I landed just the job I was looking for. I landed a job selling cars for Subaru.

This is possibly the first job that I am putting in full time hours and not working for myself. For the first few weeks this was useful and I made it through my first two weeks on spending less than fifty bucks which I ended up needing to spend on work clothes and gas for the car. There is much that I need to learn and I have been hitting it as hard as I can. Fortunately, I have experience in door to door sales making this car thing a breeze. When on the door people tell you to “get the fuck off my door.” Here at the dealership they come to you say “Hi, I’d like to purchase a car.” Selling cars is easy and I have already sold three. It’s managing the relationships with my coworkers that I have a problem with.

There has been an old dog that has been following me for my entire life and that is some sort of social awkwardness that now, at age 26 has become a real problem. I find that in group situations, especially the situations that matter the most, I can’t find anything to say. I used to think that it was social anxiety but with my all my experience in meditation I can crush most anxieties within moments. I now am rethinking how to handle my emotions in these social situations. Part of me thinks that I should chill out to the max, but I want to speak and be a part of what people are doing. This social stuntedness is possibly the biggest demon of my life right now and something that many people don’t understand about me when they get to know me. Some people never see it and many people believe me to be someone to look up to when it comes to social situations. I hope that with a healthy bit of money this problem will go away but sometimes I don’t know.

This post has been something of a soap box but I write these posts to sort myself out. Maybe there is someone that will read that may have some advice or maybe you can relate to my story and feel less alone. The idea behind this blog to find the social connection and the wisdom that can be shared between one another. If you know anything that might help, please let me know. I am open to learning we just need to meet halfway.

Wake up call- From nothing to something

For any of you that have been keeping up with the blog and that may have read my last post, it ended with me heading down the coast doing gansta shit with a guy that I picked up in northern Cali on the weed farm. Maybe an hour after publishing that last post I learned that my partner had bailed on me with all my product as well as my cell phone and computer. I ended up having to pawn a camera just to get back to Seattle where I would be able to make a living once again. It was rough to learn but a good lesson. I know now better than ever that I need to keep to my own path and not let others dissuade me away from what I know is right. It was for sure a setback to have someone close to me like that do so much harm but here I am now back in Seattle and working my ass of for the next big thing.

Now I am back to the city life and what I know well. I have next to nothing and it is time to start to build which is one of my favorite places to be. I find myself more motivated and less distracted than when I have stability and for this reason I love where I am at. It’s the times that I have my basic need covered and I slip back into old habits that I wish to destroy everything and start all over again once more. There are no real start overs however. I cannot put aside all the faults that karma will not let me ignore but what’s more is that I have learned so much over the years making it much easier to go to the place that I want to be. I have vision and at the present I am working very hard to fulfill that vision.

To anyone that is going through something of the same I will now make a list of all the little useful things that I have learned while making my way from nothing to something here in Seattle.

Get some food stamps

-You may feel like living off the government is not something your parents raised you for but if you really have nothing then the food stamps program is for you. Literally, it’s built to help people who are struggling to get back on their feet and all it takes is a visit to the office in order to apply. The same day that you walk in you can walk out again with something like $180 per month. This can be key to getting your spending down to 0 so that you can save everything for dream fulfillment. The food stamps office is located here 2106 2nd Ave, Seattle, WA 98121. Check it out.

The Compass Center

-Another huge resource for me was a mail deliver program. Not having a house I needed to find a place where I could get mail. The Compass Center of Seattle was exactly that place. I am not sure if I would recommend this over the post office (I never tried the post office) because there are almost always long lines filled with many people that are mumbling under their breath. Still, if you need mail this is a place that can do exactly that. I use this place as my address when filling out business forums and applying for jobs and such. There are other resources there too like housing if you’re really in a pickle. Its located right by the water front here 77 S Washington St, Seattle, WA 98104

Seattle Pedicabs

– This will be the easiest way to make money fast. All it takes is to walk into the office, find the phone number of whoever is running Seattle Pedicabs and then give them a call. They can get you on a bike and making cash within hours potentially. If you’re not working an event or on the weekends the money can be fairly terrible, but it’s better than nothing. I have seen many people roll into a pedicab office with nothing with the intent on making back to something. So much so that I would even say it’s the pedicab way for some. The phone number I found online is this (206) 708-1726. The office is located is Sodo just south of the stadium right by Krispy Kreme on Occidental. It’s a small garage door that is open when people are working there. Good luck. Do not tell them that you found out about pedicabs through this blog. That would get me in hella trouble.

 

Other than those tips there I can’t say much else of what might help. There are a few shelters around town that might be able to help with work, photo i.d. and maybe even sleeping arrangements. The sad part about this blog is that most of the people that really need to help I am advocating for do not have the ability to do so. I don’t know what it would take to lift the helpless out of their position but maybe this will do something for someone.