Micro dosing worked alright. I couldn’t tell if it did what I wanted it to do. I did change my actions to something that was far more aligned and enlightened with what my body really desires, but I can’t say if that was the acid that did it exactly. It might have just been me and my way in the world. Whatever the case I feel so much better today and will continue to micro dose just not by the daily. It feels like something that should be done once a week at the most.
Today I have something else in mind. Its below 10 degrees and going outside is not something that’s on the top of my list. No, today will spend the day reading and writing and maybe even putting together a set on a new program I just installed called virtual DJ. Sounds like a fun day to me. A good set up for what I plan to do in the near future.
On Wednesday I will be getting on a bus and heading to the Utah mountains to work as a ski bum for the winter at Powder Mt. They want me to stay the entire winter but my friend Ronnie wants to hit up NOLA for Marti grass. He thinks that he can make enough pipes to sell so that we can make the trip worth our wile. The sales pitch sounds like fun but all I needed was NOLA and I am down for the trip. From CO to NOLA is about 1300 miles- at 20mpg- at 2.15 per gallon- for 2 people driving- it’s about $70 a person for the drive one way. That’s cheap enough for me. Ronnie says we can sell over 1k pipes in NOLA for $10 a pop. Makes it all worth it in the end and so that we can afford our next adventure.
After Marti grass, we can head back to Denver in order to work the storm season doing roofing here in Denver and make some bank. I can put together a team of canvassers and we can make a hall. After that we head to Hawaii to play in the sand, maybe make some more cash and that’s when I head to Australia to start my great adventure… as if it’s not started already. Whatever the case I am excited for this plan. It lets me see all of the great sides of the world and I still get to travel the world within the timeframe that I have set for myself.
There is still so much doubt as to whether this will go through or not. So many times, in the past I have missed opportunities and my plans do not go as they should. I do not know how to make my will to the future stronger at this point all I can do is plan out the best possible future and try and stay vigilant in making it the future that becomes reality.
In life there are many levels to climb. Most of human existence is a striving to get to the next stage, or to a higher level of consciousness. In many situations getting there is as simple as setting a goal and then allowing the body to go through the necessary motions to achieve that goal. Other times frustration can mount as the same obstacles present themselves over and over again. Hard work, persistence and perseverance, confidence and some of the things that will help to get through these types of things but even the best of us find that the universe obstacles in our path that cannot be so easily overcome. My higher aims pertain to motivation, the social sphere, and class. Securing the foundation first and then moving to structure and finally producing a gift for the world. This is the strategy.
Motivation is a bitch and when you don’t have it it can really get you down, which will then get you down even more which can be anti motivational. That’s the trick about it really. Motivation is like a teeter totter. It takes the most energy to get the teeter totter tottering but after you have reached the tipping point it’s like running downhill, which is a lot easier than running uphill. Its when your running downhill is when you get hurt. With greater motivation comes greater pain. Its like the faster you’re moving the more likely you are going to get hurt. Motivation and confidence and very closely related, at least for me and my values I see a person who is ultimately dedicated, concentrated, and moving as a person doing it right. “You must be willing to burn yourself in your own flame”- Confident people are willing to take risks and it’s these risks have the potential to go wrong which can get one down and unmotivated. It starts to look a bit too much like banging your head against the wall (needlessly painful). The thing to remember is that if you bang your head hard enough, the wall moves. A better analogy would be to flow like water to any goal you make. Water is relentless, efficient, and take the easiest path. Like a steady stream begin to pull your dream closer to the present and make the real.
The right words spoken by the right person can be the greatest ladder to that next level. People come and people go. To be passive to the process of friendship is something that works and as far as making many friend it’s not a bad strategy, for sheep are not often lonely. To actively engage in the friendship process bring new stressors to manage and can often times be overwhelming. For myself people are complicated with so many nuances to manage that I find it difficult to create bonds that are stress free. I have confidence that lasting friends will arrive so long as I keep up the habits of making these friends. Actively seeking out interesting things to do and see in order to surround myself with the type of people that I respect the most. Cutting the friendship bonds that are needlessly consuming and not beneficial. Like a cold sociopath I make space in my life for the things that truly matter. Being able to call upon someone when times are tough can be a great source of power. Expressions of abundance are activities for friends as well. Creating a tribe is the next step. It takes a warmth and openness exactly opposite of the sociopath. Something like finding common cause enough to bring people together with enough strength to get through the pricks and pains human proximity. An openness to pain and the fortitude to persevere.
Friendship rational: do the things that you would do with a friend. Keep space for that friend and keep going. Do them as if there was a friend already there. Do them as if there were a group of friends there already. Do them like your a rock star. Now, in my imagination there is a friend next to me working on something similar (typing away). Its a fake it till you make it strategy and I can confidently commit to this without reservation. This feels right. All the focus and perseverance that I have built in myself can now be turned unwavering to this new goal of which I have been shaky before. To climb class I simply do things is a classy way and keep space for classy friends to join my along my journey.
Writing brings clarity to places that were before unclear. This is why I write.