Category Archives: Collective

Going into the unknown

Agitated to a degree that I will no longer allow me to continue to cope. From inside my mind something new begins to appear. A vision of the world to be. The vision becomes clearer not with time but rather with certain events. It’s these events that drives the hunt, but oh how much I hurt. How much can I take before I become at a loss for everything. Rolled down the dirt until my only habits include eating greasy sugar, gaming in solitude and never making real connections with the world around me. But who’s not searching for the answer to the other side. The next upgrade in the world system. Books; books that teach you something about how to look at the world differently. Eckhart Tolle- The Power of Now put me totally zenned out for months. Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power helped me take over the non-profit organization I was working for at the time. Nietzsche.

From a very young age I can remember having a profound curiosity with the world. Something that developed with the help of my community and the resources of growing up in America. In elementary school it was dinosaurs and rocks.In high school it was evolution and atheism. In college my mind exploded with philosophy. I got into trouble all along the way, mostly because I don’t care too much for convention. I think this whole thing is a joke. Why so serious is my question, and when I’m out in the world making a muckery of things, what good could it possibly do? Because I am making a muckery of things and there are many that would have me stopped.

A lot of what I do gets boggled up because of when I got dislodged from my ideal tregetory way back when. Now I am living the life of the type of person that I wanted to become but with a few major flaws keep me from real life flow. The goal would be an able bodied sailor with a sharp mind, body, and wit.  Ready for anything and happy for a challenge. Well the challenge is this- Don’t be awkward around people you don’t know. Don’t be a casual dick that prevents people from getting close to you. Do bring the fun. Do work hard on the things that are important to you.

It was last night that a friend and I were able to share a new world with three kids that were ripe and ready for the experience. Their enthusiasm lit my world up and I was able to fulfill the teaching role that I am always looking for. It played to my strengths in a way and I was able to learn just as much as even the kid on the bed who reached something of a cosmic state of enlightenment; with his eyes rolled strait up and face contorted in pure concentration, yet still perfectly aware of his surroundings. All three of these guys were completely blown away by the experience and all so grateful. The meekest one of the group nervously confronted me and called me somthing of a god. It’s was too much power and responsibility to be handled by me with his mind so open almost like I could do anything I want. I shaped him with a hammer and chisel, gently and with care, but masculine in character. The third and final dude had a way of relating to me personally in that he understood my vulnerability and played with it in a way that softly coaxed me out and made me aware of my own aggression. A valuable lesson for my improvement. It was my co-conspirator that shook it the most.

There have been a few choices in my past for which I chose the lesser direction when the high road was perfectly available. It comes from a self consciousness that drives me down in class and status. When the higher world makes its appearance I choose the lower path, because I know that am not ready. I could not stand in such a place without the skills of discipline expected of all who make. These things I will learn but for now there is plenty of magic down here to feed off of.

There is much I disagree with my partner over and I have thought about leaving him for a different path but something about his wild character creates such a strong allure that he makes for an attractive enemy. An opponent with the same higher purpose and different methods of getting there. I am pushed to grow in ways I could have never imagined for myself and can feel myself pushed towards a new phase of integration.

The time has come for me to change. Finding inspiration in the minds of others, this golden energy has filled me with abundance and the ability to relate to world on real plane that pierces through fog and bullshit. The irony is that this entire time I have been frantically searching for friends and a sense of belonging when now I understand that my path will be one of solitude and dedication to be achieved first before I find the fruit I am looking for. It’s through social situations that I will make business and learn the rules to define value. The reality is that friends are rare so enjoy the quality time that you spend with them and make sure that they can always feel your love.

Cogito Ergo Sum- I think therefore I am. Wherever you go there you are and there you go shaping the world around you, building new creations, changing. We are all very special (or at least we like to think we are), put on this world to revel in existence for a short time before the greatest plunge into the unknown is taken. Never certain but with a sense that everything is going to be alright. I love all of you and feel like something great is about to happen. I don’t know what is but I know that we are all play a role and that it is of the highest importance that we do it right.

Or maybe I’m crazy and this is the ranting of a lunatic into the cold and unforgiving abyss. But as the saying goes- Stare long enough into the abyss and eventually the abyss stares back.


Thanks for reading,

As always, I am passionately searching for the next clue by which I may be uplifted into the next level. Maybe you know what it is. Drop a comment and let me know.


The Salt Lake City Bike Collective

There is one big major thing that comes to most people’s minds when the word Utah is mentioned. Not the amazing skiing and snowboarding, not the arches and national parks, maybe The Great Salt Lake, but the thing that comes to most people’s minds is the Mormons. Utah’s populations is more than 60% LDS and it shows. Road names like North Temple and towns like Eden show some of the influence. Sunday mornings they take over the city as people with long conservative dresses or white collared shirts are out on every corner. One thing that I found surprising about Utah was that the homeless population is greater here than possibly even New Orleans (now that I think about it, no fucking way). There is an entire 5 block area downtown Salt Lake that has been taken over and is now tent city. My explorations of the city has been to shows, parties, bars, jobs, and mostly just walking around. At backyard show at Kilby Court a DJ told me that Salt Lake is in a pivotal position between becoming a place for real creativity and inspiration, or just a place like everywhere else. That phrase hits it right on the nose and will stick with me for a long time to come.

Coming off a lifties salary from the winter, I am in massive hustle mode just to make ends meet. A good friend of mine tells me of a place that will allow you to trade your time in for a bike in a work trade type of agreement. After that you can continue to volunteer hours for upgrades to the bike. Fridays and Sundays 9-12 (2312 S West Temple) are volunteer hours where anyone can come in for work. A small part of the job is cleaning but most of the job is disassembling bikes and organizing the parts for reuse. I learned so much about bikes in the short time that I spent at the Bike Collective. Next time a go back I will be assembling bikes from the many different parts that are kept in the shop and then the time that I go back after that I will be participating in a class that they offer; something to do with bikes I assume. All I know is that I am down to be a part of whatever it is that they have going on.

While putting in my time today I spoke with one of the older guys that volunteers there regularly. As we talked I found myself listening to his stories of long bike trips that he would take across the country and was immediately impressed with the idea of a long trip for myself. That conversation and consequently the journey must have been the reason connected with the Bike Collective as the shop manager (a college student going for environmental studies… classic) was more than happy to design and build a bike specifically for a journey cross country. Super thankful for having found this gem along my journey and looking forward to my next visit.

Utah is a super dope place where I have been able to naturally build relationships that have depth without having to try too hard or search too far. It’s like there is a group of people living here that react impressively against the shallow thought of Mormon culture with something that is real to profound levels. Tonight I am going to head over for drinks with the environment studies guy from the shop and on Sunday I will be able to finish up my 6 hours of work. It does take some searching but there is some amazing things happening here in Utah. Here’s a raised glass to hoping that this spot does becomes that creative place that the DJ was talking about because I can see that its already happening.