Category Archives: Anxiety

And Then Some

My last post, published a few weeks back was called from nothing to something. The post contains much valuable information for anyone that is struggling with rebuilding their lives and looking to build from a place of need. A few weeks ago, I was face to face with having to build from nothing once again. The frustration that accompanies facing the same problems again and again is either crushing or motivational. When you have nothing, being crushed can be an extremely dangerous thing because when you think you’re at rock bottom, any worse than that and you might find yourself dead. As is always the case, I write these articles not only to help others but also to help myself. I hope that you can find value in my attempts to sort myself out.

First things first, I don’t have nothing and certainly have more than many. I have two hands and two feet, a mostly functioning brain and the ability to speak. And so, I looked at myself and figured out what I can do to get where I need to go. I knew that I needed to get stable in a way that would allow me to progress in the direction that I needed to progress. Here in Seattle the job-hunting process was harder than I expected but at one point it becomes a numbers game and depends on how many resumes you can dish out. For every 10 resumes I sent, I would get less than one phone call in return, and that was resumes where I would put in the research and write a long cover letter. Maybe I need to update my resume or maybe my work history is catching up with me. At this point in my life getting a job is taking some work but eventually I landed just the job I was looking for. I landed a job selling cars for Subaru.

This is possibly the first job that I am putting in full time hours and not working for myself. For the first few weeks this was useful and I made it through my first two weeks on spending less than fifty bucks which I ended up needing to spend on work clothes and gas for the car. There is much that I need to learn and I have been hitting it as hard as I can. Fortunately, I have experience in door to door sales making this car thing a breeze. When on the door people tell you to “get the fuck off my door.” Here at the dealership they come to you say “Hi, I’d like to purchase a car.” Selling cars is easy and I have already sold three. It’s managing the relationships with my coworkers that I have a problem with.

There has been an old dog that has been following me for my entire life and that is some sort of social awkwardness that now, at age 26 has become a real problem. I find that in group situations, especially the situations that matter the most, I can’t find anything to say. I used to think that it was social anxiety but with my all my experience in meditation I can crush most anxieties within moments. I now am rethinking how to handle my emotions in these social situations. Part of me thinks that I should chill out to the max, but I want to speak and be a part of what people are doing. This social stuntedness is possibly the biggest demon of my life right now and something that many people don’t understand about me when they get to know me. Some people never see it and many people believe me to be someone to look up to when it comes to social situations. I hope that with a healthy bit of money this problem will go away but sometimes I don’t know.

This post has been something of a soap box but I write these posts to sort myself out. Maybe there is someone that will read that may have some advice or maybe you can relate to my story and feel less alone. The idea behind this blog to find the social connection and the wisdom that can be shared between one another. If you know anything that might help, please let me know. I am open to learning we just need to meet halfway.

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Wake up call- From nothing to something

For any of you that have been keeping up with the blog and that may have read my last post, it ended with me heading down the coast doing gansta shit with a guy that I picked up in northern Cali on the weed farm. Maybe an hour after publishing that last post I learned that my partner had bailed on me with all my product as well as my cell phone and computer. I ended up having to pawn a camera just to get back to Seattle where I would be able to make a living once again. It was rough to learn but a good lesson. I know now better than ever that I need to keep to my own path and not let others dissuade me away from what I know is right. It was for sure a setback to have someone close to me like that do so much harm but here I am now back in Seattle and working my ass of for the next big thing.

Now I am back to the city life and what I know well. I have next to nothing and it is time to start to build which is one of my favorite places to be. I find myself more motivated and less distracted than when I have stability and for this reason I love where I am at. It’s the times that I have my basic need covered and I slip back into old habits that I wish to destroy everything and start all over again once more. There are no real start overs however. I cannot put aside all the faults that karma will not let me ignore but what’s more is that I have learned so much over the years making it much easier to go to the place that I want to be. I have vision and at the present I am working very hard to fulfill that vision.

To anyone that is going through something of the same I will now make a list of all the little useful things that I have learned while making my way from nothing to something here in Seattle.

Get some food stamps

-You may feel like living off the government is not something your parents raised you for but if you really have nothing then the food stamps program is for you. Literally, it’s built to help people who are struggling to get back on their feet and all it takes is a visit to the office in order to apply. The same day that you walk in you can walk out again with something like $180 per month. This can be key to getting your spending down to 0 so that you can save everything for dream fulfillment. The food stamps office is located here 2106 2nd Ave, Seattle, WA 98121. Check it out.

The Compass Center

-Another huge resource for me was a mail deliver program. Not having a house I needed to find a place where I could get mail. The Compass Center of Seattle was exactly that place. I am not sure if I would recommend this over the post office (I never tried the post office) because there are almost always long lines filled with many people that are mumbling under their breath. Still, if you need mail this is a place that can do exactly that. I use this place as my address when filling out business forums and applying for jobs and such. There are other resources there too like housing if you’re really in a pickle. Its located right by the water front here 77 S Washington St, Seattle, WA 98104

Seattle Pedicabs

– This will be the easiest way to make money fast. All it takes is to walk into the office, find the phone number of whoever is running Seattle Pedicabs and then give them a call. They can get you on a bike and making cash within hours potentially. If you’re not working an event or on the weekends the money can be fairly terrible, but it’s better than nothing. I have seen many people roll into a pedicab office with nothing with the intent on making back to something. So much so that I would even say it’s the pedicab way for some. The phone number I found online is this (206) 708-1726. The office is located is Sodo just south of the stadium right by Krispy Kreme on Occidental. It’s a small garage door that is open when people are working there. Good luck. Do not tell them that you found out about pedicabs through this blog. That would get me in hella trouble.

 

Other than those tips there I can’t say much else of what might help. There are a few shelters around town that might be able to help with work, photo i.d. and maybe even sleeping arrangements. The sad part about this blog is that most of the people that really need to help I am advocating for do not have the ability to do so. I don’t know what it would take to lift the helpless out of their position but maybe this will do something for someone.

CBD Oil

A Cannabidiol (CBD) is part of the cannabis plant that doesn’t get you high. With the discovery that CBD oil’s positively effect things like anxiety and psychosis, the market for CBD oil has been steadily climbing. With a market that’s expected to grow 700% within the next three years, the hemp derived CBD oil industry is something that going to be hard to overlook whether you are an investor, in the health profession, or a consumer that’s interested in some of the newest and best ways overcome the challenges we all face in everyday life. This is a movement and with every movement there are three things that we can look into when doing our investigation. First, the history or CBD oil and where it came from. Second, what is so great about it and why it’s are gaining so much attention. Third, what we can expect to see from the CBD oil industry in the future.

CBD rich plans have long been used to treat a myriad of health problems. In the 19th century Queen Victoria used CBD rich cannabis to help with menstrual cramps and animal studies have long shown that CBD can help with anxiety as well as reduce the severity and frequency of seizures. For the majority of the history of the cannabis plant, farmers have bread with the purpose of getting the plant that produces the best high and thus, the THC aspect of the plant has been exalted reducing the CBD’s found in most North American strains to trace amounts. It was only in the spring of 1998 that a British government licensed a company called GW Pharmaceuticals to grow cannabis with the specific design of producing as much CBD in a plant as possible and thus as CBD oil as possible. As we know more about how CBD oil’s effect people that suffer from severe seizures, the demand for CBD oil has risen and many other companies have developed similar process in order to get the CBD oil to those that need it.
Anecdotal evidence has been reported to point to the effect that CBD oil can have a positive effect on people that have a hard time controlling their bodies. From my own life; visiting the relatives for Christmas this year I was introduced to my Aunts boyfriend who suffered from a rare form of epilepsy that he developed later in his life. You could tell that this was a man who had a well developed mind but that his body would not listen to his mind like it once did. From the outside this looked to be a situation that caused unrelenting frustration. Not being one for alternative medicine he had not yet tried CBD oil as a way to relieve him from his struggle. We gave him some oil that another one of my relatives had made special for this occasion. The effects took less than an hour. By then the spasms that had prevented him from finishing a full sentence were gone and we could all participate is discourse coolly and calmly. It was something spectacular to watch, to say the least. Anecdotal evidence is not strong enough evidence for the DEA and currently new double blind research projects are being fast tracked into action because of the positive effects that CBD oil has found in anxiety and psychosis. It feels like they know it’s good for you, now they just need to prove it.
The Future of the CBD oil industry looks promising at least. The demand for new strains that are high in CBD’s has brought plants up to a 20-1 CBD to THC ratios and that number looks like it will continue to climb. In Washington State there are over 800 different CBD products on the market and because the DEA is still working on conclusive research, these companies can’t overtly state what the benefits of taking their product will be. This makes it a confusing time to be a consumer that is interested in CBD oil. Soon the research will be out and the playing field with be better defined. What can be said is that there is a large market force that is pushing CBD oil into the lime light. With an industry that’s expected to grow 700% within the next three years this is something that cannot be overlooked.
The benefits of CBD oil has been known for centuries and only just now is the market tuning into this wisdom and using it to help some of the most helpless people in our society. As this awareness rises so will the demand for CBD products and soon we are going to see CBD take an even bigger portion of the spotlight when it comes to helping people face challenges that now have new potentialities to be overcome.