I first me Ronnie at a Jimmy Johns downtown New Orleans. We had both been hired as biker delivery guys on the same day and we were both tossed into the confused mess with the rest of the delivery guys. Something my dad taught me is that when working your first day at a new job be sure to say something to everyone you see. As I passed through the crowed of Jimmy Johns employees Ronnie came up to me and we started to conversate. I noticed that the tattoo on his arm looked Polynesian and so I brought up Hawaii. Turns out the Ronnie lived on the island the same time that I did but on a different island. He was also into funk and I told him that he should meet my roommate so that they could start a funk band.
Ronnie never ended up meeting my roommate but we did end up hanging out a decent about in NOLA getting into adventures like urban climbing and going downtown to hit on women. When Ronnie was leaving NOLA, I threw him a going away party of which he didn’t show up. It turned out to be a kick ass party and for missing it I still rub it into Ronnie face to this day. We stayed in contact as he moved to Boulder CO and I to Minnesota and would frequently call each other to share what’s up. Ronnie was turning into a very good friend.
Eventually I made up my mind to move away from MN. It was getting bland and to the point where I was going to need to either commit to staying in one place or make a move. I always make the move when it comes to that point. Originally, I was going to head back south to be with my friend Moose but in the chaos of travel I ended up in Boulder CO living in the “Twack Shack” with Ronnie and a few other travelers. Ronnie and I have been able to grow together for a long time now and have become great friends. Someone I plan on going on great adventures like canoeing the Mississippi with.
When I first met Ronnie, I thought he was something like my age but come to find out he is more like 40 years old. This is something that usually throws me off and if it where me I would feel like that weird old guy but with him it seems to work. As we become more comfortable with each other I find myself listening to him talk about how he can sense other people’s psychic energies over thousands of miles away. Most of the time he can rant about how in his past he had to overcome people trying to destroy him and how he has had to overcome a fair amount from his past. I think he is old are scarred but I humor him non-the-less. Today, he is thankful for having new friends now, new friends that are happy for his success and don’t want him back as that lazy friend they once knew.
I tell him that he needs to build an energetic shield to protect him from the psychic forces in this world. Something that would allow him to go anywhere and keep his good character no matter what is thrown at him. He agrees with me but will still rant about how other people are trying to get in his mind. I keep on trying to develop a way to teach him how to keep them out. Being that I don’t understand the mental realm in nearly the same way that he does it makes things difficult. Something along the lines of aggression back at the places of attack might be what I think but Ronnie is much more passive than I. Sometimes I can help him out by being the aggressor to something that he should be aggressive at but does not have the frame of mind to put that type of energy out into the world.
He is a great business partner and together him and I are working on making wooden pipes ($10), cutting board ($45), and eventually want to work our way up to making and selling tables and more. He is the woodworker and I am the sales guy. He does most of the work and its really his project, I am there for support though. We also go out and sell roofs when the weather and time is right for it. Like I said, he is a great partner and I would love to go on to do greater things with him. It can be hard to get him grounded enough to put effort in a single direction long enough to make it work. He works though and I love to work with him.
Micro dosing worked alright. I couldn’t tell if it did what I wanted it to do. I did change my actions to something that was far more aligned and enlightened with what my body really desires, but I can’t say if that was the acid that did it exactly. It might have just been me and my way in the world. Whatever the case I feel so much better today and will continue to micro dose just not by the daily. It feels like something that should be done once a week at the most.
Today I have something else in mind. Its below 10 degrees and going outside is not something that’s on the top of my list. No, today will spend the day reading and writing and maybe even putting together a set on a new program I just installed called virtual DJ. Sounds like a fun day to me. A good set up for what I plan to do in the near future.
On Wednesday I will be getting on a bus and heading to the Utah mountains to work as a ski bum for the winter at Powder Mt. They want me to stay the entire winter but my friend Ronnie wants to hit up NOLA for Marti grass. He thinks that he can make enough pipes to sell so that we can make the trip worth our wile. The sales pitch sounds like fun but all I needed was NOLA and I am down for the trip. From CO to NOLA is about 1300 miles- at 20mpg- at 2.15 per gallon- for 2 people driving- it’s about $70 a person for the drive one way. That’s cheap enough for me. Ronnie says we can sell over 1k pipes in NOLA for $10 a pop. Makes it all worth it in the end and so that we can afford our next adventure.
After Marti grass, we can head back to Denver in order to work the storm season doing roofing here in Denver and make some bank. I can put together a team of canvassers and we can make a hall. After that we head to Hawaii to play in the sand, maybe make some more cash and that’s when I head to Australia to start my great adventure… as if it’s not started already. Whatever the case I am excited for this plan. It lets me see all of the great sides of the world and I still get to travel the world within the timeframe that I have set for myself.
There is still so much doubt as to whether this will go through or not. So many times, in the past I have missed opportunities and my plans do not go as they should. I do not know how to make my will to the future stronger at this point all I can do is plan out the best possible future and try and stay vigilant in making it the future that becomes reality.
This morning I woke up and cut one tab of lsd into 4ths. I ate one of the 4ths tabs lsd and will be saving another half for tomorrow; thus, upping the dosage by 2x per day which should reach a climax by the end of the week at about 8 tabs. I feel as if there is a lot of tension inside of me at the moment. Perhaps meditation would help, but more so I feel that it comes down to dieting and the social company that I keep for myself in. I have let myself become part of the mayonnaise of life. Unaware of even my own suffering. I can feel my body aching with all that it has allowed itself to sink into. Most of the time, when confronted with life’s shortcomings, I wallow with the thought of what it would take to get out of this circumstance, and there is nothing productive about wallowing. How I usually reaction when confronted with all of my missed opportunities is I would turn to the escapism found in video games or something similar. Today is different, despite feeling the pain of failure stronger and more direct than usual, I am also unwilling to let myself fall further down by not doing something about it. I feel that I must do something about it. I can now remember the goals that I set for myself. Australia, Snowboarding, becoming a writer and even getting through college, all of which I can make progress on today.
I understand that to a large extent the reasons why I do these kinds of experiments are because I feel that I am losing something in the world. I feel that I have gotten behind and that I must take great risks in order to do something that might catch me back up. Constantly am I looking for a great awakening that can reshape my life and, the sad part about it is that I know what I must do.
At the moment, micro dosing is a way of shocking the body back into awareness of what it needs to be doing and for this reason I can see the benefit. I would like to make this experiment again when I am in a place of abundance, but for now, I can feel that it will do me good to compete the week. To sustain this practice for a week in order to cement the practices of awareness and discipline into my routine is what I aim to take away from this practice. If I sustained this practice into a lifestyle I would start to feel dependent. I am hoping that by maintaining a practice of disciplined efforts in goal attainment that it will it relieve some of the pain I feel and make life more enjoyable for myself and for anyone I touch.
As the day goes on I feel more at ease with what I am doing in life. It feels good to be back at the reigns and reawakened to my purpose of life. There is still much to be done and many more obstacle to be overcome, I still a great amount of tension and I am unsure of where it comes from. Perhaps a week’s worth of notes will enlighten me as to what the source of this tension could be.