The Comeback

I travel. I will not stop traveling. In my travels I often asked myself what is the point of traveling. Many times it seems that I am running away from something only to have that thing catch up with me all over again. It’s possible that I am running away from myself. I get to a new place and let myself get all over everything until I find the same problems again and again until I get fed up and make for a new start just to redo the entire cycle. The start is always fun. It’s new and exciting and allows me to re express myself in a way that I find more suiting the my self-expectations, but the fact that I keep running into the same blockages points to the fact that there is something deeper that that is stopping me from living a fuller life. Something that I missed a long time back.

It’s in this domain that comebacks can be made. A visualization of things that were missed along the way and a strategy to retake what was once lost. When it comes to attitude it’s very simple to start looking at the world as full of opportunities rather than something else. Simple, yet surprisingly deceiving. I mean you might be fundamentally crazy and the problems that you can’t get past in life are something that your brain chemistry is wired to repeat again and again and a comeback is only a short momentary lapse of forgetfulness where the real problems have moved to a different space than the one currently occupied and as soon as the right situation strikes a trigger then it’s back to the dog pen. Through all the craziness there is one thing to keep in mind that can cut through the bullshit.

Let’s take the philominal instance of being born into this body from a different dimension but still with mind that you have now. It would be a crazy world something close to taking too much lsd and then having to talk with your mother. Simply put the only thing there is to do is to make the best of it. Easier said sitting here now rather than in my more darker of moments of life but the moral point holds. From any point in life and space, weather we have known craziness or not, as human we can only move in one direction: the future. It’s going to keep coming no matter how much meditation or drugs you do. Wherever you go, there you are. What’s important is to make sure that you take a willingness for progress wherever you go. This begs the question then of what is a comeback…

Are we catching up or catching back?  Catch back to the now where you can focus on progress rather than focus on the total amount of progress that should have been made. It would be: How fast can I move from right now (further into the now).

The further behind you get the harder it becomes, which is why a comeback is never something to strive for. Catch word never- comebacks could effectively be used while being cocky, but to strive for failure can only be met with psycho therapeutic therapy of one kind or another. Come backs are done. All learning is a comeback even. In the early stages of learning comebacks are a faster way of learning than blazing a new path. Its when personal creativity overcomes learning from other people’s values is when learning from mistakes becomes obsolete. A way to look wiser would be to act like you only learn from personal creativity and ignore failure. To actually ignore failure would be grievous.

Even while hiding a disguising, the internal reality of the matter is that we have a sense to know authority. It is here that comebacks are brandished in the form of challenge. Here, listen to how someone else values the world, now live up to someone else’s standard.  But what of self overcoming? What argument could strengthen the value of self overcoming in compared to the value of overcoming values of others. It takes courage to do something by yourself. Independence and individuality and for the sake creating a new path, but all arguments play to some pleasant sound in the word and not to functionality, which is not enough for truth of action


A sweet word whispered for truth of action

Like a mind trick or serpents tongue

Can trick the wisest into satisfaction

Worms and walls become undone


Learn from others. Test the possible by achieving a comebacks that is impossible.


This could be the hardest thing to do, but to give fire to dark places is the aim of this article, and here I sit looking into the world with less fire than what might normally propel me forward in times such as these. As I type I reach for answers stored in my own fingertips. With each word I can feel my eyes clearing up and thus my brain sinking at ease into my own skull. I believe that everyone is endowed with a sense to know exactly what we need to do any given time. Sure there are times when the deciding what to do can be more difficult, but what I mean to elucidate is the point of doing what we know we must. The strong are able to do what they must even when times are difficult and so we must be strong, but how is the question. How to be strong?

Breaking free to the other side

The courage to forge a new path independent of what others think more often than not achieves the label of dangerous and evil. How close can anyone even get to the edges of human consciousness? The first thing that comes to mind is a book on how to think independent and profound thoughts(joke). Based off how many people reach the edge it seems it would be the hardest thing to do. This is counter to what I have written in the past which makes it that much more important to read and to write. I will go over the new feeling of independence that comes from avoiding the herd. I will go over the power and strength that can be gained from forging new paths, and then there is the pain, loneliness and danger of walking roads seldom crossed all pointing to the question of who am I, who are we, what are we doing?

I have never owned a dog because I love having the freedom of movement. The ability to pack up and move to Alaska is something that I could do tomorrow if I wanted to rough it like that. With a dog I would need to find a place to keep it or someone to watch it when I go away from wherever I am living. Sometimes people are much like dog in the sense that you cannot leave them without causing distress. This is the first level of freedom of independence that can come from going alone. Breaking away from people that will use personal distress as a tool for manipulation and what shame will I bring upon them to the point where it gives me pleasure to leave them stunned and sputtering for direction, but this is not my aspiration and can only give momentary pleasure.

The real goal seems to be able to make your own way or make a new path. Lessons learned from climbing mountains however, is to take the paths that others have made before. It’s much easier to climb and you can climb much higher on an already formed path. More so than new paths is new zones that freedom can be found and in these zones that new paths can more effectively be made. Already there are paths to these new zones and many times they are some of the most difficult paths. To get to these zones takes great strengths and even more discipline for the edges of consciousness are the only places where consciousness is expanded upon and also where anyone may fall off as if the nature of consciousness were flat like that of an old world.

The fear is real in this place and for good reason. Modernity plays off these fears and has developed many tricks and pitfalls to deceive and enslave. There are also new opportunity for new zones that have only recently been discovered, and many skilled individuals are now clamoring to forge the first path. A great and dangerous race. Like seeds blown into the wind, few will last long enough to produce a flower.

For myself it’s a challenge to find new zones. I know this is not true for everyone and that some people can effortlessly strive for greatness, but for me the frame looks most like shackling down my many impulses that would run me back into the muddle of unoriginal living. Every year I wait for that kind of discipline that will take me through the bullshit and into the freedom of independent personal expression. The future is now and the future is up and out of the matrix.


Back on track to get my mind outta wack

I use my own hand to smack the back

Of my head cause if I dont Im strait dead

This anger fueled frustration instead of

Mind numbing media being force fed

I stay two steps ahead of my enemy

Politics dumbed down straight tyranny

Rock your shoulders to the side if you feelin me

I’m here cookin up the next epiphany

Put some God in the pipe and let’s smoke it G

Getting out of control is the point you see

Every mind contains the roots of self mastery

Back strait check out radiantly


The air is thin up here and my mind is clear

My message is severe so lend me your ear

We can break through the fear begin to commandeer

Our bodies and minds to blast through the atmosphere


To go it alone is the calling you become evil

Getting back to innocence; the retrieval

So far ahead that modernity looks medieval

Sociopathic psychotic and upheaval

Words developed the keep the beast in chains

Shackled with rains to suffer another man’s pains

I was made for something greater I can feel it in my veins

Can’t you see how my skin is covered in blood stains?


Rollin out the new strength of the lion

Dedicated discipline till I’m strait flyin

One step closer I’m on the road to Zion

At the end of this path is a dragon I’m defyin


The monster that is about to be released

is already tearing down the walls build by these fucked up police

Radiant confidence and courage increased

To the point where there is not


Breaking on through to the other side (why I write)

In life there are many levels to climb. Most of human existence is a striving to get to the next stage, or to a higher level of consciousness. In many situations getting there is as simple as setting a goal and then allowing the body to go through the necessary motions to achieve that goal. Other times frustration can mount as the same obstacles present themselves over and over again. Hard work, persistence and perseverance, confidence and some of the things that will help to get through these types of things but even the best of us find that the universe obstacles in our path that cannot be so easily overcome. My higher aims pertain to motivation, the social sphere, and class. Securing the foundation first and then moving to structure and finally producing a gift for the world. This is the strategy.

Motivation is a bitch and when you don’t have it it can really get you down, which will then get you down even more which can be anti motivational. That’s the trick about it really. Motivation is like a teeter totter. It takes the most energy to get the teeter totter tottering but after you have reached the tipping point it’s like running downhill, which is a lot easier than running uphill. Its when your running downhill is when you get hurt. With greater motivation comes greater pain. Its like the faster you’re moving the more likely you are going to get hurt. Motivation and confidence and very closely related, at least for me and my values I see a person who is ultimately dedicated, concentrated, and moving as a person doing it right. “You must be willing to burn yourself in your own flame”- Confident people are willing to take risks and it’s these risks have the potential to go wrong which can get one down and unmotivated. It starts to look a bit too much like banging your head against the wall (needlessly painful). The thing to remember is that if you bang your head hard enough, the wall moves. A better analogy would be to flow like water to any goal you make. Water is relentless, efficient, and take the easiest path. Like a steady stream begin to pull your dream closer to the present and make the real.

The right words spoken by the right person can be the greatest ladder to that next level. People come and people go. To be passive to the process of friendship is something that works and as far as making many friend it’s not a bad strategy, for sheep are not often lonely. To actively engage in the friendship process bring new stressors to manage and can often times be overwhelming. For myself people are complicated with so many nuances to manage that I find it difficult to create bonds that are stress free. I have confidence that lasting friends will arrive so long as I keep up the habits of making these friends. Actively seeking out interesting things to do and see in order to surround myself with the type of people that I respect the most. Cutting the friendship bonds that are needlessly consuming and not beneficial. Like a cold sociopath I make space in my life for the things that truly matter. Being able to call upon someone when times are tough can be a great source of power. Expressions of abundance are activities for friends as well. Creating a tribe is the next step. It takes a warmth and openness exactly opposite of the sociopath. Something like finding common cause enough to bring people together with enough strength to get through the pricks and pains human proximity. An openness to pain and the fortitude to persevere.

Friendship rational: do the things that you would do with a friend. Keep space for that friend and keep going. Do them as if there was a friend already there. Do them as if there were a group of friends there already. Do them like your a rock star. Now, in my imagination there is a friend next to me working on something similar (typing away). Its a fake it till you make it strategy and I can confidently commit to this without reservation. This feels right. All the focus and perseverance that I have built in myself can now be turned unwavering to this new goal of which I have been shaky before. To climb class I simply do things is a classy way and keep space for classy friends to join my along my journey.

Writing brings clarity to places that were before unclear. This is why I write.

Do all side quests

Fable is the game that I played when I was younger. I played Fable 2 and even Fable 3 but in my professional opinion without a doubt Fable one is the best story line video game ever made. In the story mode of Fable there are side quests which are quests that do not need to be completed in order to progress the main story line. Completing the side quests will advance the characters abilities and reward gold upon completion so that by the end of the game you would have a much more fulfilled character and the main story line is much easier. It was 10 years later before I realize the how completing all the side quests in real life can lead to a more fulfilling life and can make the main story line much easier.

It’s been just two days since I left my father’s home and the lake of my father’s home to head to Boulder CO in search of a new life and new adventure. From my dad’s house I had made arrangements made on craigslist for a ride share that would take me all the way to Boulder, all I had to do was pay for my portion of gas. I thought that gas would be split between four people but just hours before departure two of the four people bailed, which is something I could have expected if I would have known the nature of craigslist ride shares. Gas was to be split between only me and the driver making it 50 a pop, not a big deal. Over the course of the drive the driver and I started to talk and get to know each other. Turns out that he was not headed to Colorado but that he was headed to is home in Nebraska and that he was actually going out of his way driving to Boulder. He then explained that he was heading to Colorado a few days later on a camping trip with his mom and that if I wanted to spend two days on his farm that it would save him in gas. My thought was “A side quest!” and I agreed to join him for a new adventure for a few days.

It’s beautiful here on the farm. The people talk slow and the days go by fast. It’s a place I would like to stay for at least a month and I am sure that if I asked they would be happy to host me, but fortunately unfortunately I have other things I must accomplish. I can easily see myself spending long days on the farm and getting to know all the interesting  people that work here. There are bluffs surrounding the area that would be great to climb. The older man here knows much about mushroom gathering and would be able to teach me how. The town is small but there would be many people to know and possibly even parties to be had. It would be good time getting to know how to live like a farmer and it is a good time getting to know what its like to be a farmer.

Beth and Ryan are the two people that own the farm. In addition to them is their son who drove me here and is not one for sticking around on the farm but will lend a hand if he is in the right location. There are also a couple that are interning here to learn more about seed production, as well as an old wise lady from Germany and another from upstate New York. Apparently Ryan is known in the organic farming community for a special way of developing seeds that he came up with. They must have 80 acres of land here but only use maybe 6 of it which is densely filled with chickens, cows, and gardens. They call the farm Meadowlark Hearth. They do things like a community. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in community style household as well as living close to the earth.


Now is the part of the paper where I describe something deep and meaningful about my experiences and what I learned. First, using absolutes (all, everything, always) outside of your typical discussion on metaphysics is generally only useful as a rhetorical device designed to compel someone to action doesn’t have a literal meaning at all. When I say “all the side quests” and then literally try to do “all the side quests” I become overwhelmed at the amount of stuff there is to do in the world. In reality everything has a purpose and there is no such thing as a side quest. During those moments when you take a break from your main function there are infinite amounts of other things that can be completed down infinite paths presents to you every moment Sadly for everything that you do there is something that you do not do. Making the best of it is all anyone can do. Second, the side quest option payed off big time this time. I have learned how to give gifts and I have made a connection that may aid me when I run for ruler of the world. Possibly I want to become a farmer a summer from now. Through all of the lessons learned, I am having a good time. I find the farming side quest experience aesthetically appealing and art for the sake of art is the best reason there could be. Right?

This is a small story in my experience. To be on task and striding through this world giving purpose wherever I go. One step closer to death feel good to me. Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think because advice from as many different as possible sources is something I strive for, so whisper in my ear and we can make something new appear.

Spiritualism Skepticism

Walking around these lakes got me in a rut. I mean the kind of rut that comes from lack of motivation and feels like there is a haze over all that I perceive. It’s one of the worst punishments anyone can bring upon themselves, but such is life and sometimes in life we get ourselves into places we don’t want to be. Its how to get out of these places is the topic of this paper.

If anyone has ever taught you how to boil frog while its still alive then you know the trick is not to put the frog straight into boiling water, for it will simply jump out as soon as it is in, but to put the frog in comfortable water then turn the heat on low so the water will take time to heat up and the frog wont realize how hot the water is getting until it is too late. While the story is not literally true (frogs will try to escape) it does illustrate the point that it’s often times the things that creep are the things that get the best of us and that we must maintain constant vigilance to keep afloat in life. Easier said than done however. Nowadays the world is a bit too complex for our human brain to get a full grasp upon (I have heard that Aristotle was the last person to know all there was to know) and now we must rely on shortcuts to slice through the overwhelming amount of nonsense and distraction that we face on the daily. Too much time spent on The Great Wall of Facebook should be enough to set anyone to red alert asking what might be the problem: what’s wrong with me?

The truth is I have no idea what is wrong with me, it’s probably a myriad of things. Why can’t I do what I know I must do all of the time? Its when I arrive at the conclusion of “fuck it” is the time I feel better. This mental jump from “what’s wrong with me” all the way to “fuck it” is what interesting.

For this story the “what’s wrong with me” starts out with putting all my effort into a bunch of dead end jobs, working to achieve someone else’s dreams, making just enough money to effectively show up for work the next day. Something like that is enough to put 80% of the world into a happily docile haze. One night night I was out with my friends crawlin around town from pub to pub I get a text from my old friend Moose who brings up a long forgotten dream of mine- traveling the country and work at festivals. It takes me about 12 hours to process through this shift of a life, but when I wake up the next day I have the new ability to beam a path before my feet. All of a sudden I have no time for facebook, there is too much to do.

Turns out Moose is posted up in Eureka Springs Arkansas and that I am to find my way there. Eureka Springs is a town my old friend Lynx is living at currently. To learn that I could see Lynx on this journey was information that hit me deep. See, Lynx is a wise woman who possess a strange vein of wisdom. This strange vein of wisdom has caught my attention throughout the years. She believes in a version of history different than the scientific or the traditional religious doctrine and what’s most impressive about her view is the vastness, the complexity, and depth of her thought. When speaking with her I get a feeling that she is onto something even though I know it falls deep into the category of “batshit crazy”. All I can say is that she is of the pleiadians variety and that most of you would call her insane if you ever took the time to hear her out. Generally when I hear people talk of alien insemination I try and find the best way to escape, but with her there is something different. I get a feeling in my stomach like there is a bigger mystery to be uncovered. This feeling has sparked my curiosity to such an extent that I now overpowered by the drive to answer my question. You see, this feeling in my stomach is something that I have experience before to a lesser extent but have always written it off as unimportant. Now I feel it stronger than I have ever felt it before. Too strong to write off. My suspicion is that this is a spiritual feeling and that it could lead me to a profound awakening that could change the rest of my life. My question is: could it be real?

The following days have done nothing to stifle my awe in this new found feeling. My movements to make things happen have been met with so little resistance that I feel like I can do anything. Ten minutes on Craigslist and I get me free ride from Minneapolis to Eureka Springs (guy is traveling to Mexico and would like some company for the ride… Bingo!). Then spent the day on the beach meeting exactly the people I need to meet, i.e. beautiful women and friend groups/roommates. One week ago I thought to myself “when it rains it pours”. This week I think “fuck it”.