What to do with a life

What is the point? This is a good place to start. The traditional and persistent answer has been for wisdom. To become that old man with a grey beard and stories for the kids. The morphing meaning of the word wisdom make the path of wisdom always elusive. Three concepts are necessary to analyze when it comes to the path of wisdom. My weaknesses need to be accounted for and corrected. My strengths in my ability to travel. Lastly the entire framework of values where it all comes into perspective.

I recently had a long relationship with a good friend fall apart. One of the lessons learned would to not borrow money from friends and especially not to borrow two grand from a friend. While in debt with nothing other than a friendship holding my debt to my debtor meant that the terms of the loan were shaky and there were times when even I did not know if I was going to be able to repay him. This caused a negativity directed at me like I have never felt before. From someone so close to me it hurt all the more. During the times when we could get along my friend would tell me that he would spend all day at work brooding on the twisted ways in which I was a terrible person, and I was able to feel these thoughts come off him as we spent our days in New Orleans together. Eventually his brooding became creative and he was able to uncover the weakest and most disgusting things about my personality and bring them to light. All the things thing that I had been running away from are now before me once again. I had almost escaped but I guess the past has a tendency of catching up with you. Now, living back in my hometown I am faced with all the past. Its useful in a way as I get a chance of seeing the darkest things within myself in the light and have a chance to correct them. I have a feeling that facing it rather than running away is something that I can do to drastically to improve my life which means a plus one for living in Minnesota.

The world is so big and I am just getting started in seeing it. To stay in Minnesota feels like stagnation. Portland, Chicago, New York City, all places that I have never lived and all places that I would love to live. What takes me away from these places is that I know that if I go there I will have to struggle massively to get on my feet. I would need more money in order to avoid this. I have lived homeless before but that was in Hawaii where being homeless is sex on the beach. My goal of getting to Australia by August 25th is looming and getting to work in necessary. Moving to a new place would be a big risk that could stop me from getting to Australia and not something I am willing to do. Not that I am not willing to take risks, it’s just that here in Minnesota I have a job as a bartender that I can use to leverage a bartending job in Australia and then bartending all over the worlds. It comes down to the bartending in the end that will keep me here. Once I  have the necessary experience to make my own way I will take a risk and head to Portland and then Australia.

Underneath all the travel and wonder of new experiences are the relationships that are formed. Other people that can teach me things and show me a way of viewing the world that I would not have known without them are the most important thing to all of this. Traveling is how to meet the best of these people but traveling in the right way is important to note. “The path of abundance leads to the palace of wisdom”. Lots of money, friends, and fun are what I’m after. This means everywhere I go living as hard as I can. Going out every night, no down time, and going through the things that I as fast as I can so that I can continue to do the next things that I want to do. So, if you will excuse me I am only going to edit this post once just because it has accomplished exactly what I wanted to accomplish with it. I writing this post to give me the frenzied motivation to go out tonight with purpose and fun which is what it all comes down to. Progress in the direction of my values which could be seen as another value all together.

Peace out, I got shit to do.

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