Communication for dummies- The Shit Test

Shit tests


A shit test is a social device that people use to determine the mental caliber of person they are dealing with. The shit test is most recognizable in the form of witty banter between friends, but can also come in many different forms; some of which are none to the nicest. Almost every person has characteristics they wish others would believe though they may not be true. A shit test is one way to tell if a person is who they come off to be and can determine the strength of frame of the person on the receiving end of the shit test has in their possession. Shit tests are pass/fail. If the shit test is passed respect is gained, if failed then interaction usually comes to a halt and the two parties go their separate way.

The classic example of shit testing is used by females who are generally bombarded with male attention and need a way of filtering through the masses (“Buy me a drink”… “Well then I would have to fleep w/ you and we really haven’t gotten to know each other yet.”). Shit tests are used by everyone from time to time and more so by higher status members of a society. A CEO will shit test harder than a manager and a manager harder than a garbage man. This is because the social pool that high class individuals get to pick from is far greater than the lower class, and the need to have only the best persons on hand in order to secure their own superiority. (I don’t make the rules, I just explain them) There are some people (generally people who enjoy a challenge) that find shit tests to be an enjoyable way to show off their intellect and my find conversation in which shit testing is not included to be boring conversations. These are socially skilled often competitive individuals who should be shit tested. In these situations shit testing is used as a form of validation and can be thrown back and forth as a form of validation. With each pass of shit report is built between the shit throwers. This can go on forever in the form of two friends bantering back and forth.

One strategy of leadership found in harder arenas like boot camp or competitive sales positions, the leader will shit test everyone into the ground and rebuild them from that point up. This strategy can be extremely effective for changing a person on a deeper level. If this strategy is chosen be sure that you can maintain the responsibility for the entire rebuilding process, because leaving someone in the ground makes them extremely vulnerable to outside influence so make sure that influence is from a positive source… like yourself.

For woman the shit test is often an ongoing part of her interaction with men. For her it’s something that she must employ for her high need of security that comes from her biology. As men grow older their mental frame often weakens and the shit testing female turns from a spicy young duchess into a nagging old hag. This is only because he can no longer pass her shit tests. Oh how sweet love can be.

Testing boundaries is something that makes us human and shit tests are a healthy way of interacting with the world. There are however, malicious shit tests and even, nuclear shit tests. Nuclear shit tests offer no advantage to anyone and it is best to avoid these at all costs (These often come in the form of ex-girlfriends). The amount and variety of shit test out there ranging from dominant/submissive, service oriented, wit, fear based shit tests to name just a few. Even your ability to hold a conversation could be viewed as a shit test. Through all of this complexity there is one distinction that should be made with shit tests. There are good shit tests, and there are bad shit tests. Good shit tests are shit tests that are probing for strength and can be viewed as challenge to overcome with the reword of status for victory. Bad shit tests offer no reword and should be avoided if possible. If they must be confronted then damage control should be of primary concern. These come in the form of confrontational fighting of jealous boyfriends.

The well-spoken and quick witted out there are going to have a lot of fun with shit tests. The duller of you out there are going to hate them and I would recommend watching some stand up comedians to improve your social skills (“Joe Rogan puts heckler in their place”). You could even try the brute force social exposure method if you can muster up the courage. Whatever it is, do whatever it takes. Till next time.


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