If you are the type of person who keeps going down looking for a bottom from which to kick off from and propel yourself out in order to get a better glimpse of the dazing world above the surface, then keep searching. Its out there.
Half a year ago I left my home and the lake of my home and headed into the south. New Orleans is where I ended up. Bright eyed and innocent (though not as innocent as I look) I was in search of a movement, greater than myself that I could support. The search has lead me to look both inside for the ability that I can use to build the larger, and outside for the entity that truly is the enlightenment.
Philosophically ironic, a strong taste of what I am looking for came from a drug induced experience I had shortly before I started my journey. Through dimethyltryptamine I was able to communicate with a part of myself that ended up giving me a new sense of intuition and way of relating with the world.
It was a Monday night and my friends would meet up at a pool hall to play billiards. My best friend Sam was going into rehab the next day and we were getting amped for his journey. I invited him over to a house after pool so that we could smoke some dmt and send him off with a bang. Sitting on a long couch our friend pored a teaspoons worth of a dark colored, dung smelling amount of sand into a pipe. He then headed the pipe up with a lighter and after the pipe was filled with smoke he instructed me to inhale and hold as long as I could. The vapor from the pipe tasted like poop and against my natural instinct I held the smoke in my lungs as long as I could. A loud ringing engulfed my sensed and my eyes closed and I slumped into my seat.
The first and most overwhelming aspect of the experience was the ringing in my ears. If the ringing had been coming from outside of my own head it would have been more disturbing than nails on a chalkboard, and although the ringing sounded the similar it was not unpleasant. Comforting would not be the word to describe this thing, rather it just was. The next aspect of the experience was a crystallization of my vision, as if my eyes were slowly changing into kaleidoscopes until I could no longer decipher my surroundings. At this point I had held my breadth for over a minute. I could have gone longer but the experience was so intense that I exhaled, closed my eyes, and sank deep into my chair. The ringing was getting louder and like an ant resisting a title wave I fought to order my mind. Against my will my entire being was engulfed by the ringing. At this point the ringing became a pattern of high pitched bleepings and the bleeping into a beautiful song. To this day I have never heard anything so magical, relaxing, and alien all at one time. If I were a musician I would turn this into the most powerful song in the world and it would spark movements of destructive peace and unity.
With my eyes still closed I witnessed a wave of bright green light rushing at me through the darkness and like water it crashed into me and a green lady appeared out of the chaos. Her hair flowing backwards, palms outstretched, and eyes of white light she looked into me. Slowly I realized that the ringing song was her voice. Through song I could understand her infinity and power. It felt that this creature was in constant communication with all life spread throughout the universe and through song she could spread her wisdom. To her I gave everything, from her I took as much as I could. Slowly my mind dimmed and I awoke from my dream to be surrounded by my friends.
Over the next few days I found myself inspired with a new way to pensive the world. I could speak the song and hear the song stronger and weaker in different areas of my life. I can remember a time when I went to a festival with my dad. In the mountains of Colorado is a festival called the Arise Music Festival where the feeling of the green lady was the most powerful that I have ever felt. Ever sense I have felt the blasting off caused by dimethyltryptamine I have been seeking out the source of this song which I believe to come more strongly at different parts of the globe. The place where the enlightenment of the individual is valued beyond all else. Where great people are searching for the means of creating a society that is not limited to oppressive methods of control. Where humanity can live in harmony with nature and people can progress into oneness without feelings of regret. Onward I seek.
I write this in Phoenix Arizona where the people are involved and love one another in a way that drives business. I love all of them and am grateful for showing me the side of life that prizes openness, loyalty, and hardship. Soon I will be headed to Hawaii to explore the a new culture with an emphasis on describing the secrets of mana which Codrington defines in his book, The Melanesians: Studies in their Anthropology and Folk-Lore as “a force altogether distinct from physical power, which acts in all kinds of ways for good and evil, and which is of the greatest advantage to possess or control”.
“Only the lovers can get through the fire of the ring of the mandala. Open your heart. God is searching God in this creation.” ~ Sufi Saying.
Stay tuned in and open. Will be speaking with you again soon.