Mad liberation

After meditating in the streets of downtown Phoenix for I found myself doubting the dis-contentedness with society that inspired action in the first place. Rebellion against the routine of a society that has found itself comfortable living with sickness and catastrophe. Is the world so dull that we need public mediators to wake us up? Is it not beautiful already? Thoughtfully; the contradiction is true. Looking around I see a striving population of loving people who enjoy their lives and are involved in a passionate race for the better world. At the same time I can feel the restlessness that rides along with the human condition. We are cursed with the knowledge of all the ways in which we fail to live the lives we know we should.

We build cities for ourselves to be closer together and in these cities we spend our time alone. Is it cunning conditioning to make us more efficient slaves, or is there something waiting for us to pick ourselves out of the fog and meet them in dancing places? Reality is not a forgiving. You are not a special and unique snowflake. Some of us will climb higher than others and its no ones responsibility to climb but your own. I ask myself why I could not be stronger?

I have always been on the side of self overcoming rather than self acceptance and perfection is a strenuous and lofty goal. It has never been easy to live up to my own standard but today I am making great leaps forward. I have uncovered more of the movement that I yearn for. Social freedom and the people that are redefining taboo. I can play a fantastic role in this movement which accepts more people empowering them to a greater degree. This is the movement that will take the world and soon it will be the norm.

On the liberators international a guy addresses an emotionless subway about their ways and asks them to start a dance party with him. Everyone dances. There is another instance of this guy addressing working professionals on the street and challenging them to have a dance party with him in a city park and the people love him for it.

When I was young I loved to read fantasy books like The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and I especially loved Lord of the rings. During my darker years as a late teenager I yearned to escape into one of these worlds and stayed in a fantasy of hopes and dream. When I finally did look into the world I found it. Its out there I say just go and look. There are people that can bring you into worlds you would not believe. 

Obviously open. Penetratingly vulnerable. Emotionally expressive. These are the values in the world of tomorrow because in the end, it is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful values. Perhaps, then, with hard work, you might gain that rare tranquility that comes from knowing you’ve had a hand in creating something of intrinsic excellence that makes contribution. Indeed, you you might even gain that deepest of all satisfactions: knowing that your short time here on this earth has been spent well, and that it mattered.

How to find the others

If you are the type of person who keeps going down looking for a bottom from which to kick off from and propel yourself out in order to get a better glimpse of the dazing world above the surface, then keep searching. Its out there.

Half a year ago I left my home and the lake of my home and headed into the south. New Orleans is where I ended up. Bright eyed and innocent (though not as innocent as I look) I was in search of a movement, greater than myself that I could support. The search has lead me to look both inside for the ability that I can use to build the larger, and outside for the entity that truly is the enlightenment.

Philosophically ironic, a strong taste of what I am looking for came from a drug induced experience I had shortly before I started my journey. Through dimethyltryptamine I was able to communicate with a part of myself that ended up giving me a new sense of intuition and way of relating with the world.

It was a Monday night and my friends would meet up at a pool hall to play billiards. My best friend Sam was going into rehab the next day and we were getting amped for his journey. I invited him over to a house after pool so that we could smoke some dmt and send him off with a bang. Sitting on a long couch our friend pored a teaspoons worth of a dark colored, dung smelling amount of sand into a pipe. He then headed the pipe up with a lighter and after the pipe was filled with smoke he instructed me to inhale and hold as long as I could. The vapor from the pipe tasted like poop and against my natural instinct I held the smoke in my lungs as long as I could. A loud ringing engulfed my sensed and my eyes closed and I slumped into my seat.

The first and most overwhelming aspect of the experience was the ringing in my ears. If the ringing had been coming from outside of my own head it would have been more disturbing than nails on a chalkboard, and although the ringing sounded the similar it was not unpleasant. Comforting would not be the word to describe this thing, rather it just was. The next aspect of the experience was a crystallization of my vision, as if my eyes were slowly changing into kaleidoscopes until I could no longer decipher my surroundings. At this point I had held my breadth for over a minute. I could have gone longer but the experience was so intense that I exhaled, closed my eyes, and sank deep into my chair. The ringing was getting louder and like an ant resisting a title wave I fought to order my mind. Against my will my entire being was engulfed by the ringing. At this point the ringing became a pattern of high pitched bleepings and the bleeping into a beautiful song. To this day I have never heard anything so magical, relaxing, and alien all at one time. If I were a musician I would turn this into the most powerful song in the world and it would spark movements of destructive peace and unity.

With my eyes still closed I witnessed a wave of bright green light rushing at me through the darkness and like water it crashed into me and a green lady appeared out of the chaos. Her hair flowing backwards, palms outstretched, and eyes of white light she looked into me. Slowly I realized that the ringing song was her voice. Through song I could understand her infinity and power. It felt that this creature was in constant communication with all life spread throughout the universe and through song she could spread her wisdom. To her I gave everything, from her I took as much as I could. Slowly my mind dimmed and I awoke from my dream to be surrounded by my friends.

Over the next few days I found myself inspired with a new way to pensive the world. I could speak the song and hear the song stronger and weaker in different areas of my life. I can remember a time when I went to a festival with my dad. In the mountains of Colorado is a festival called the Arise Music Festival where the feeling of the green lady was the most powerful that I have ever felt. Ever sense I have felt the blasting off caused by dimethyltryptamine I have been seeking out the source of this song which I believe to come more strongly at different parts of the globe. The place where the enlightenment of the individual is valued beyond all else. Where great people are searching for the means of creating a society that is not limited to oppressive methods of control. Where humanity can live in harmony with nature and people can progress into oneness without feelings of regret. Onward I seek.

I write this in Phoenix Arizona where the people are involved and love one another in a way that drives business. I love all of them and am grateful for showing me the side of life that prizes openness, loyalty, and hardship. Soon I will be headed to Hawaii to explore the a new culture with an emphasis on describing the secrets of mana which Codrington defines in his book, The Melanesians: Studies in their Anthropology and Folk-Lore as “a force altogether distinct from physical power, which acts in all kinds of ways for good and evil, and which is of the greatest advantage to possess or control”.

“Only the lovers can get through the fire of the ring of the mandala. Open your heart. God is searching God in this creation.” ~ Sufi Saying.

Stay tuned in and open. Will be speaking with you again soon.

Clear eyes

The outside layer of your skin vibrates due to the pulsating base that connects the dace floor to primal unity. As exotic creatures weave through the crowd you take a moment to relate the nature of your current experience to the larger and reflect about the future of the world. The music brings electric energy to your head and you are compelled to break into dance when you are attracted into a tent by an exotic and cool force. Inside the tend you are given a vape of something strange. Your reality crystallizes and you are set down on a pillow where beautiful women encircle you as your mind explores the cosmos.

How to travel the country without money

It’s out there. The world is a big place and we never can get enough of it. For myself it has been a trying journey of living by the scrapings scraping and grit that I find along my path to something. Hitch hiking was comfortably reassuring, surprisingly. There is a massive support system for those who are on a vulnerable journey through the world. I am convinced that humans were made in a way that will allow the right people to pass through their social system easily and efficiently, and that the social system will provide for them exactly what they need. Except when it does not, which is a bummer.

Yesterday I bought a motorcycle. After the transaction I could feel a deep pit immerse within my stomach.  At the time I contributed the feeling to the massive risk I had just taken taken by investing into a new form of transportation; only later did I realize that it was my body telling me that I had made a huge social miscalculation. The next day at a shop I learned that the bike was without a title and was worth less than 100 dollars. Exhausted of funds I put the bike online in desperation. Within the hour a man called me who had the intention to take the engine out of my bike in order to complete a project he was working on. When I told him of how I wanted to take the bike cross country and see the world he promised to give me the perfect bike for the job at discount price. He felt it necessary to help someone out with their journey. The only thing that I needed to do for him was to take the bike into the DMV and get it inspected as to confirm that it was not stolen.

Little sleep is needed for great tasks. The body knows what must be done and will prepare adequately as it understands the gravity of the situation. Waking in the morning I ventured to the location of my motorcycle. Tires flat, without a break light or mirrors I started it up and headed for the canal. In my mind I would be able to ride the bike down the dirt roads that run next to the rivers that bring water to the desert city of Phoenix. For more than half my trip this turned out to be true and I was able to enjoy the combination of skin burning sun and soft cooling breeze before I was halted by a locked fence. More than once I crossed busy intersections, watched by anyone with an ounce of awareness to them. When I was less than I mile from my destination I saw my first cop. I darted left into a gas station parking lot to park my bike. Buying overpriced sunscreen I watch the police officer circle the gas station and go out of sight. My adrenaline was pumping by that point and I decided to wait until there would be some distance between me and the cops, but they continued to roll past the station. Through intelligent rationalization or fear driven paranoia I decided to park the bike. It currently sits and now I wait for Friday when we will be able to move it together.

Camouflaged greatness or maybe the swindler had me in mind the entire time. Things sometimes work themselves out.